1 00:00:24,417 --> 00:00:26,167 Do you know who Tyler is? 2 00:00:27,459 --> 00:00:30,459 Yeah. He's a da waar director. 3 00:00:30,626 --> 00:00:33,084 What's a da waar? 4 00:00:33,459 --> 00:00:35,334 A big shot. 5 00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:38,334 Did you know he's in China? 6 00:00:38,459 --> 00:00:41,334 Yeah. He's remaking The Last Emperor. 7 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,042 What's wrong with your nose? 8 00:00:44,209 --> 00:00:46,292 Don't be nervous. 9 00:00:46,292 --> 00:00:48,334 You're not auditioning for a part. 10 00:00:48,584 --> 00:00:50,959 What's your name? 11 00:00:51,209 --> 00:00:52,251 Yo Yo. 12 00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:54,751 I used to be a cameraman. 13 00:00:56,792 --> 00:01:00,417 As fast as you can, load the film and start shooting. 14 00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:27,334 You sure are pretty. 15 00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:28,626 Thanks. 16 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:31,834 Who are you? 17 00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:35,084 You may call me Lucy. I'm Tyler's assistant. 18 00:01:35,334 --> 00:01:36,834 What's the job? 19 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,626 To shoot a "making of" documentary. 20 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:45,959 This is an important film about one of the world's greatest directors. 21 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:48,501 Why not hire an American? 22 00:01:48,626 --> 00:01:50,459 Why not cut the 20 questions? 23 00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:53,126 Do you speak English? 24 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,501 No. 25 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,959 Good. You won't need it. 26 00:01:57,334 --> 00:02:00,042 Look over this contract. 27 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:03,917 We'll notify you tomorrow. 28 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,792 You pay me how much "mar-nee"? 29 00:02:06,792 --> 00:02:08,751 Not "mar-nee." It's "money." 30 00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:11,042 Then what's "mar-nee"? 31 00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:12,334 Money. 32 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,167 My pronunciation sucks but you understand? 33 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:19,334 You will shoot everything. 34 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:21,792 Wherever he goes, you go. 35 00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:26,376 It's 24-7. Mind your own business. 36 00:02:26,376 --> 00:02:29,209 No talking to the press. 37 00:02:29,209 --> 00:02:31,626 You are just a pair of eyeballs. 38 00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:35,084 Just recording events. 39 00:02:35,084 --> 00:02:40,459 You have no copyright, no final cut and no creative control. 40 00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:43,001 The last thing we need is your creativity. 41 00:02:43,251 --> 00:02:44,959 Do I have the right to quit? 42 00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:47,751 Only if we say so. 43 00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,084 It's a boy! 44 00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:05,792 Cut! 45 00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:14,751 A perfect little baby. 46 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:25,042 You want to do it again, Mr. Tyler? 47 00:05:29,126 --> 00:05:30,751 Shall we do another take? 48 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:34,876 Yeah. 49 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,459 Back to one, everyone. Let's do it again. 50 00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:40,209 Stand by. 51 00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:44,376 Action! 52 00:06:12,876 --> 00:06:13,751 Cut. 53 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,001 - Problem? - No, no, no. Towel. 54 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:22,709 No, it's not you. You're... 55 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:24,917 You're very, very, very good. 56 00:06:25,376 --> 00:06:29,001 - Are you sure? - Oh, I'm sure. It's me. 57 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:32,959 It's my problem. You take a break. 58 00:06:47,459 --> 00:06:49,126 Attention! 59 00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,001 Everybody sit down! 60 00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:54,876 I think this is the key. 61 00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,501 Chinese Imperial Palace, 62 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,459 Two colors: red and gold. Red walls, gold roofs. 63 00:07:01,751 --> 00:07:04,292 Red stands for blood, the gold for money. 64 00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:07,751 Blood and money. Asian conception of power. 65 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:10,209 Who could flaunt power like this? 66 00:07:10,584 --> 00:07:12,667 Only the emperor dared do it. 67 00:07:13,209 --> 00:07:16,501 When Bertolucci made his film about the emperor... 68 00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:20,376 ...he empathized with him, treated him like an ordinary person. 69 00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:23,042 Showed his life from when he was a kid... 70 00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:27,542 ...and assumed the throne as if it were a tragedy. Which is true. 71 00:07:27,709 --> 00:07:32,376 But he did it because that would appeal to Western audiences... 72 00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:36,459 ...and guarantee the film's success. You know, make money. 73 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,792 I don't think that's the right point of view. 74 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:44,834 The problem is, you have to break down modern prejudices... 75 00:07:44,876 --> 00:07:47,167 ...modern preconceptions. I mean, God... 76 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,626 I'm Chinese and I thought Bertolucci's portrayal was moving. 77 00:07:50,626 --> 00:07:52,167 You're not Chinese. 78 00:07:52,584 --> 00:07:56,876 You got a Chinese face, but you were brought up American. 79 00:07:56,917 --> 00:08:02,459 You want to know what a Chinese thinks of an emperor, ask Yo Yo what's his opinion. 80 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:08,667 Yo Yo, do you think the emperor was a tragic figure? 81 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,501 No. He had all these beautiful babes. 82 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:15,251 A different one every night, all state-subsidized. 83 00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:17,459 I've only had one, who divorced me. 84 00:08:17,459 --> 00:08:20,792 I'm a tragic figure. Tell him exactly what I said. 85 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,751 He had lots of beautiful women. 86 00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:26,501 - The emperor. - Yes. All paid for by the government. 87 00:08:26,501 --> 00:08:30,792 His wife divorced him, so he thinks his life is a tragedy. 88 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,334 That's it. That's what it's like to live with it. 89 00:08:34,376 --> 00:08:37,959 That's what ordinary Chinese people think of an emperor. 90 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:41,126 Good. Very good! 91 00:08:41,126 --> 00:08:44,251 No money, no woman. That's a tragedy. 92 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:48,501 Tragedy, tragedy. I just love you, kiddo. 93 00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:51,667 I also "I love you" too! 94 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:10,584 He'll be like this today and tomorrow. 95 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,792 No one knows what he's thinking or what we're waiting for. 96 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,667 Trust Tyler. He's the best director in the biz. 97 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:22,667 He needs a thousand extras in the most expensive location for his creative process? 98 00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:24,876 This place opens to the public soon. 99 00:09:24,876 --> 00:09:28,251 As his assistant, it's your job to tell him to shoot something. 100 00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:34,626 Peter, don't forget why you survive in Hollywood is not because you have talent. 101 00:09:34,626 --> 00:09:37,834 It's only because you work for someone who does. 102 00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,709 Stand up! 103 00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:55,626 Do you want them to get changed? 104 00:09:55,626 --> 00:09:58,001 - They're waiting for you. - Jesus. 105 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:02,167 Everything I'm doing is just... It's a load of junk. 106 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:07,167 It's got no inspiration, Lucy. No vision. Complete waste of time. 107 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:11,626 Tell Peter it's a wrap. I can't shoot any more of this crap. 108 00:10:11,626 --> 00:10:15,417 Tony gets here tomorrow. You should have something to show him. 109 00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:22,959 Yo Yo. Tell Peter, everybody, finished. 110 00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:26,042 - Finished. Peter. - Finished! Finished. 111 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,334 What are you doing? 112 00:10:28,334 --> 00:10:31,042 Following orders. What are you doing? 113 00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:35,126 Trying to finish this movie, not stroke his ego! 114 00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:37,209 What? 115 00:10:37,209 --> 00:10:40,251 If the director isn't ready, the film will be crap. 116 00:10:40,251 --> 00:10:43,167 - Shut up! - Hey, what's going on? 117 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:46,459 He said he's not paid to do what you just asked. 118 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:47,834 He said what? 119 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:55,584 You... Here... Not clear... 120 00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:59,584 No good, movie also no good. 121 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:07,792 Money. You're wasting your time. 122 00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,501 Clear as a bell. 123 00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:19,251 Yo Yo says that without the right idea at the heart of your movie... 124 00:11:19,251 --> 00:11:22,584 ...shooting it is just the same as taking a piss in the ocean. 125 00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:26,917 Peter, it's a wrap! 126 00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:31,542 - I love you. - I love you, I love you, I love you. 127 00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:36,126 - It's a wrap! - I speak Chinese! 128 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:53,667 Shit, another day wasted. Damn it! 129 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:11,876 - Hey, kid, how are you? - How was the trip? 130 00:12:11,876 --> 00:12:15,042 Very long. My ankles are killing me. 131 00:12:15,292 --> 00:12:18,126 It's a great set. Great, great, great. 132 00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:22,709 Peter, my boy. You let me down, kid. You let me down. 133 00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:26,126 You probably think I came here with a contract... 134 00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:28,292 ...but I got you a one-way ticket back. 135 00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:30,709 Don't beg. I do not like begging. 136 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,001 Well, can I get you a diuretic? 137 00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:36,042 - For what? - Your ankles. 138 00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:38,626 As long as it's not Chinese herbs. 139 00:12:38,626 --> 00:12:41,251 - Where's Tyler? - I'll see what I can do. 140 00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:43,626 - This way. - Thanks, kid. Tyler! 141 00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:49,376 We've seen all the dailies and we're very, very satisfied. 142 00:12:49,376 --> 00:12:52,667 This could be a fabulous picture, Tyler. 143 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,542 But there's a problem: 144 00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:59,459 You're over budget, behind schedule and the investors are getting crazy. 145 00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:02,501 Out of respect for you, I can hold them off a day. 146 00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:04,959 But you gotta make a choice. 147 00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:09,959 I have to make a choice? I choose to scrap the film. 148 00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:13,292 - Just shut up for a second and listen. - I'm listening. 149 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:18,584 I could shoot and bring it in on budget, but you'd end up with junk. 150 00:13:18,584 --> 00:13:22,209 Uninspired trash that has no truth in it. None! 151 00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:25,084 I've been waiting for my God of truth... 152 00:13:25,084 --> 00:13:27,084 ...but all I get is the back of his head. 153 00:13:27,084 --> 00:13:29,751 He's walking away. He's left me in the dark. 154 00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:34,501 I'm sitting in this black hole of depression and I can't get out! 155 00:13:34,501 --> 00:13:36,542 - Tyler... - No! Listen to me! 156 00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,959 I've looked from every point of view: 157 00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:43,376 From the Eastern, from the Western, from a child's, from an artist's. 158 00:13:43,376 --> 00:13:47,042 And all I get is a description of the emperor, you know? 159 00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:49,542 I mean, an... 160 00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:55,084 A superficial representation that doesn't transcend banal reality. 161 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,501 It doesn't have God's light in it. 162 00:13:57,501 --> 00:14:01,792 There's no epiphany. There's nothing poetically definitive. 163 00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:05,542 I realize that none of our films have. 164 00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:07,292 There's nothing I can do about them. 165 00:14:07,292 --> 00:14:11,542 But about this I can, and that's what I choose to do. 166 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,501 We've known each other how long, 30 years? 167 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:16,542 You believe me when I tell you I respect you? 168 00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:19,001 Then for God's sakes, help me with this. 169 00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:22,834 We've brought in a new kid to finish the picture. 170 00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:25,834 An MTV kid. Steven somebody, I forget his name. 171 00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:30,001 He'll take over. He gets no credit. Your name stays on the picture. 172 00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:34,001 If you agree to these terms, you get your salary. 173 00:14:34,001 --> 00:14:35,751 You save face, you make money. 174 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:40,667 You cannot leave my name on it. I don't care about the new guy. 175 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:44,417 You can't leave my name. That's the point of me scrapping it. 176 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,209 - I might as well kill myself. - You got one other choice. 177 00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,542 - I'll tell you what it is. - Yeah? 178 00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:55,126 Kill me. Go ahead, do it. 179 00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:57,001 Kill me. 180 00:14:57,084 --> 00:15:00,501 There comes a time in the affairs of men, Yo Yo. 181 00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:01,876 Should I kill him? 182 00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:03,834 Should he kill him? 183 00:15:12,876 --> 00:15:14,251 You asked for it. 184 00:15:15,042 --> 00:15:19,084 Well, I already made a deal with Mitsutomo. 185 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,459 The kid will finish the picture. 186 00:15:21,459 --> 00:15:24,792 Your name stays on it. You have no choice. 187 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,501 The Buddhist believe every cause there must be an effect. 188 00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,001 The law of karma dictates that for every cause there must be an effect. 189 00:15:54,001 --> 00:16:03,167 The Buddhist's goal is to transcend suffering and reach Western paradise. 190 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,501 Lucy. 191 00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:07,209 I need to reload. 192 00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,376 What does Jing Jie mean? 193 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:20,251 I don't know how to translate it. 194 00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:22,459 "The level one can attain." 195 00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:24,501 Could you be more specific? 196 00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:26,501 $20 and I'll tell you. 197 00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,334 Why are you treating me this way? 198 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:31,501 What, are we friends now? 199 00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:33,709 I'm just an employee. 200 00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:35,917 Just a pair of eyeballs, remember? 201 00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,917 Greedy bastard. 202 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,917 Over there. 203 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,792 This is you. This is me. 204 00:16:55,792 --> 00:16:58,126 This is Tyler and this is Buddha. 205 00:16:58,126 --> 00:17:00,917 You can see this far. I can see this far. 206 00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:03,251 Tyler can see this far. 207 00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:08,209 And Buddha can see for eternity. 208 00:17:09,209 --> 00:17:10,959 That's Jing Jie. 209 00:17:10,959 --> 00:17:12,501 Buddha is the highest, 210 00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,167 then Tyler, 211 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,417 then me, then you. 212 00:17:16,459 --> 00:17:18,959 Like the saying, "A rat can't see past her nose." 213 00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:21,459 Consider that a freebie. 214 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:26,501 I'll give you a freebie too. Go to hell. 215 00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:28,917 - What's that mean? - Go to hell! 216 00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:36,959 Buddha says, "The death of the body isn't the end of life. 217 00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:39,459 It's the beginning of a new life." 218 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,667 Ask Yo Yo if he believes that. 219 00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:46,667 Reincarnation certainly makes the idea of death a lot more inviting. 220 00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:49,667 Do you believe in reincarnation? 221 00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:52,084 Nope. It's all a big hoax. 222 00:17:52,084 --> 00:17:53,876 After you die, that's all she wrote. 223 00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:57,334 He's depressed. 224 00:17:57,626 --> 00:18:00,042 Can't you say something more cheerful? 225 00:18:00,626 --> 00:18:04,334 We Chinese have a saying. 226 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,417 "If this life is bad, it doesn't matter. 227 00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:08,876 The next life will be better." 228 00:18:08,876 --> 00:18:10,584 We Chinese have a saying: 229 00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:14,126 "If this life is bad, it doesn't matter. There's another life waiting." 230 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,376 So death is not so bad. 231 00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:20,292 Woody Allen said he'll take a change of underwear, just in case. 232 00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:24,001 The Chinese are very good at comforting themselves. 233 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:30,584 Chinese... 70 years... 234 00:18:30,584 --> 00:18:33,001 Older people die. 235 00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:35,209 Good finish. 236 00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:39,209 Everybody drinks. Cheers. 237 00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:45,126 Good life. To a good life. To a good life. 238 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,917 A happy funeral. How do you say "funeral"? 239 00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:50,876 Pay up. 240 00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,167 What are you trying to say? 241 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,001 I'm trying to say: 242 00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,626 If a person dies after 70, 243 00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,626 it's a "happy death." 244 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:08,292 - He's trying to say... - No, I get it. 245 00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:10,792 I think I get it. What he's saying is: 246 00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:13,876 If you go to an older person's funeral in China... 247 00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:17,834 ...when you come out of it, you feel uplifted and happy. 248 00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:22,042 It's the same feeling you get when you see a really witty comedy. 249 00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:26,501 A comedy. Very comedy. 250 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:27,876 - Xiju? - Yes. 251 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,626 - Xiju is... - Comedy. 252 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,084 - Comedy. - What is the word for "funeral"? 253 00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:35,709 - "Funeral." - Comedy funeral. 254 00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:40,417 Comedy funeral! 255 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:46,834 Comedy funeral. 256 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:08,542 Tyler, I don't know how to tell you this. 257 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:13,542 The Japanese had a meeting with the crew and didn't inform us. 258 00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:16,459 They told everyone because of your health problems... 259 00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:19,501 ...you had to return to the States for rest... 260 00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:22,001 ...and Steven will take over as director. 261 00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:26,334 After the meeting, they told Peter in private that he was fired. 262 00:20:27,834 --> 00:20:32,167 The Japanese brought over their own producer. Yo Yo was fired too. 263 00:20:36,584 --> 00:20:39,751 - Tony wants you in the makeup truck. - Okay. 264 00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:44,084 Before he leaves, I need to clear up some things with him. 265 00:20:49,376 --> 00:20:52,042 It's only going to be a little break. 266 00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:56,959 I need the rest anyhow. It's not going to belong. 267 00:20:57,584 --> 00:20:59,584 Give my love to Lilian. 268 00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:02,709 Tell the kids I'm sorry I don't have gifts. 269 00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:04,501 It came on so quick. 270 00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:07,792 I understand your situation. 271 00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:10,709 Take care of yourself. 272 00:21:55,376 --> 00:21:56,376 Yo Yo. 273 00:21:58,542 --> 00:21:59,542 Camera. 274 00:22:02,751 --> 00:22:03,917 Yes. 275 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:07,584 Change. 276 00:22:12,292 --> 00:22:13,417 How long? 277 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,792 - Four... - Four minutes. 278 00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:18,167 You... 279 00:22:18,751 --> 00:22:21,376 ...sit. Sit. 280 00:22:21,501 --> 00:22:22,917 I shoot you. 281 00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:31,917 Sit. 282 00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:34,501 This way. 283 00:22:43,626 --> 00:22:46,042 Four minutes. 284 00:22:46,959 --> 00:22:49,584 My gift to you. 285 00:22:51,626 --> 00:22:56,126 You have a God-given talent. And you just... 286 00:22:56,126 --> 00:23:01,001 All he needs is the right opportunity. 287 00:23:01,001 --> 00:23:05,334 My work finish? My English no good. 288 00:23:05,334 --> 00:23:07,917 So you say yes or no? 289 00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:12,084 Yeah. My work finish too. 290 00:23:12,084 --> 00:23:14,167 I'm going to get on my horse. 291 00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:16,167 It's ok. 292 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:21,084 What time come China? 293 00:23:21,459 --> 00:23:24,626 Work for you. Free. 294 00:23:24,917 --> 00:23:30,792 I want you to give me comedy funeral. 295 00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,959 Comedy funeral! 296 00:23:32,959 --> 00:23:35,126 No problem! I'm waiting for your news. 297 00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:38,417 My God, the truth is standing around. It's a woman! 298 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:43,376 Got really short hair. She's trying to tell me everything. 299 00:23:45,751 --> 00:23:49,126 Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? 300 00:23:49,209 --> 00:23:52,751 Hello? Hello? Somebody help! 301 00:23:52,751 --> 00:23:56,584 Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! 302 00:23:56,834 --> 00:23:58,751 Somebody help! 303 00:25:04,251 --> 00:25:08,292 Lucy, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 304 00:25:09,167 --> 00:25:12,334 - How long you been here? - About two hours. 305 00:25:12,334 --> 00:25:13,917 My English not good. 306 00:25:13,917 --> 00:25:18,001 I can't believe it. Maybe it's my fault. 307 00:25:18,001 --> 00:25:21,001 I came here to help. Now look what's happened. 308 00:25:22,251 --> 00:25:24,376 All right, thank you. Go home. 309 00:25:30,709 --> 00:25:33,542 No. This is not your business. 310 00:25:37,751 --> 00:25:38,834 My bag. 311 00:25:39,584 --> 00:25:41,751 I said get out of here! 312 00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:16,792 We had a misunderstanding. I hope I didn't hurt you. 313 00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:21,209 I just wanted my bag and helmet. 314 00:26:21,292 --> 00:26:25,917 Tony's having a private meeting, and... 315 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,042 Hey, man. Thanks. 316 00:26:28,084 --> 00:26:31,001 You're a good guy. We could become friends. 317 00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:33,292 Be cool! 318 00:26:34,334 --> 00:26:35,584 Sorry, baby. 319 00:26:36,459 --> 00:26:38,542 It's like he expected this. 320 00:26:39,626 --> 00:26:42,626 These last few days, all he and Yo Yo... 321 00:26:42,626 --> 00:26:47,167 ...that Chinese guy who was here, have been talking about is funerals. 322 00:26:47,417 --> 00:26:50,667 He kept saying he wanted a comedy funeral. 323 00:26:50,792 --> 00:26:54,584 I thought his spirits were low and he was joking. 324 00:26:54,584 --> 00:27:01,084 But just before he passed out he told me he wanted Yo Yo to give him a comedy funeral. 325 00:27:01,876 --> 00:27:06,917 But if he dies, does that count as his will? 326 00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,251 It sounds like he authorized it. 327 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,167 Does he think Yo Yo can organize his funeral? 328 00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:17,042 He's controlling how he'll be remembered. 329 00:27:17,042 --> 00:27:21,417 He's proving that he's asking face from nobody, giving face to nobody. 330 00:27:21,417 --> 00:27:24,126 He's confused. He thinks we deserted him, 331 00:27:24,126 --> 00:27:25,834 so he's deserting us. 332 00:27:25,834 --> 00:27:28,126 He's got huge pride. 333 00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:30,709 Poor Tyler. 334 00:27:31,626 --> 00:27:33,667 For the sake of friendship, 335 00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:35,667 You should handle the funeral. 336 00:27:37,001 --> 00:27:37,834 Quiet. 337 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:41,709 Comedy funeral. 338 00:27:41,709 --> 00:27:44,792 Comedy funeral! A comedy funeral, no problem! 339 00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:49,667 She's going to tell me everything. 340 00:27:49,709 --> 00:27:51,167 Help! 341 00:27:51,167 --> 00:27:53,334 Lucy! Lucy! 342 00:27:53,792 --> 00:27:58,167 Oh, my God! Tyler! Please! No! 343 00:27:58,626 --> 00:28:02,042 Yo Yo, give me comedy funeral. 344 00:28:02,042 --> 00:28:06,001 No! Oh, my God, Tyler! No, please! 345 00:28:06,001 --> 00:28:08,334 Yo Yo, get an ambulance! 346 00:28:11,834 --> 00:28:13,251 Is this his will? 347 00:28:13,251 --> 00:28:16,834 I think he's had a nervous breakdown. 348 00:28:16,834 --> 00:28:20,501 It's an authorization. You're responsible for his funeral. 349 00:28:24,542 --> 00:28:26,626 What did that idiot say to you? 350 00:28:26,626 --> 00:28:28,626 This idiot says he's gonna do it. 351 00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:30,376 Moronic. 352 00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:32,959 Sorry I can't be with you. 353 00:28:32,959 --> 00:28:37,376 I gotta go to Japan for a few days. Excuse me. Hello? 354 00:28:37,376 --> 00:28:39,667 Hey, Mike, how are you? 355 00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:41,917 I'm in China. I'm on my way to the airport. 356 00:28:42,251 --> 00:28:45,292 Well, a little problem has come up. 357 00:28:46,084 --> 00:28:50,459 Princess Diana's casket... 358 00:28:50,459 --> 00:28:56,584 is adorned by flowers from her sons... 359 00:28:56,584 --> 00:29:03,501 and a handwritten card from her mother. 360 00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:10,792 Thousand of mourners line the route... 361 00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:14,167 Over here! 362 00:29:28,751 --> 00:29:30,459 Out drinking again? 363 00:29:31,917 --> 00:29:34,667 Yellow hair doesn't suit you. 364 00:29:35,084 --> 00:29:37,959 - You should dye it red. - Why? 365 00:29:37,959 --> 00:29:40,334 You look inbred. 366 00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:43,251 You disappear for five years! 367 00:29:43,251 --> 00:29:45,584 Now there's some big mystery! 368 00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,667 I'll tell you. 369 00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:49,709 But only if you promise to keep it a secret. 370 00:29:51,417 --> 00:29:55,459 Just because I drive a Cadillac, doesn't mean I'm rich. 371 00:29:55,501 --> 00:29:59,459 Concerts rely on sponsors. 372 00:29:59,459 --> 00:30:02,542 I don't make a cent off the box office. 373 00:30:03,042 --> 00:30:08,459 And no fires or floods this year. 374 00:30:09,167 --> 00:30:13,042 So no benefit concerts to profit from others' suffering. 375 00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,917 You bonehead! 376 00:30:14,917 --> 00:30:17,376 I don't need your money. I've got a big job for you. 377 00:30:17,376 --> 00:30:19,834 I don't have any to give you anyway! 378 00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:22,876 On the way over, I thought: 379 00:30:22,876 --> 00:30:26,084 "If he needs 20,000, I'll just give him 2,000." 380 00:30:26,084 --> 00:30:28,917 My treat. 381 00:30:30,501 --> 00:30:32,167 So, what's up? 382 00:30:33,501 --> 00:30:36,459 You're a big time promoter, right? 383 00:30:37,959 --> 00:30:41,251 I'm the best. 384 00:30:41,834 --> 00:30:43,667 How about a funeral? 385 00:30:45,792 --> 00:30:47,042 A funeral? 386 00:30:48,292 --> 00:30:51,209 If we're talking John Doe, forget it. 387 00:30:51,209 --> 00:30:53,417 But, say, that Russian sub... 388 00:30:53,876 --> 00:30:56,126 - What's it called? - The Kursk. 389 00:30:56,126 --> 00:30:58,667 Right, the Kursk. Now that's a show! 390 00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:01,501 I'd definitely be able to pull it off. 391 00:31:02,376 --> 00:31:06,459 Center stage. A huge replica of the ill-fated sub. 392 00:31:06,459 --> 00:31:10,959 Top models strutting back and forth in sexy navy outfits. 393 00:31:10,959 --> 00:31:16,126 We'll get Celine Dion to sing "My Love Will Go On." 394 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:22,042 Really! Why didn't I think of this before? 395 00:31:22,126 --> 00:31:24,251 I'm being serious. 396 00:31:24,834 --> 00:31:29,334 - All right. Whose funeral? - Someone in the arts. 397 00:31:30,334 --> 00:31:34,251 Well, that depends. It's got to be a big shot. 398 00:31:34,251 --> 00:31:36,876 And he can't be an asshole. 399 00:31:36,876 --> 00:31:38,917 Or a child molester. 400 00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:40,584 There are limits to what we can do. 401 00:31:40,584 --> 00:31:43,834 Akira Kurosawa, for instance. 402 00:31:43,834 --> 00:31:47,751 There's a death you could make some money on. 403 00:31:48,001 --> 00:31:50,417 Bigger than Kurosawa. 404 00:31:56,042 --> 00:31:59,667 Who? Couldn't be Chinese. 405 00:32:01,292 --> 00:32:04,376 - Tyler. - Which Tyler? 406 00:32:04,751 --> 00:32:06,667 That Tyler! 407 00:32:07,251 --> 00:32:10,084 Oh, that Tyler? 408 00:32:10,126 --> 00:32:11,959 Of course, that Tyler. 409 00:32:16,376 --> 00:32:18,042 We're in business. 410 00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:23,417 Welcome. 411 00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:27,667 Hi, Lucy. Mitsutomo's producer Nakati-san is waiting inside. 412 00:32:27,667 --> 00:32:29,626 I'll be working for him. 413 00:32:29,626 --> 00:32:33,334 They felt that my experience was valuable, so they kept me on. 414 00:32:33,334 --> 00:32:35,584 I know this may hurt Tyler's feelings, 415 00:32:35,584 --> 00:32:37,667 but I gotta work too. 416 00:32:38,084 --> 00:32:40,876 Tyler might find it surprising, but not me. 417 00:32:42,834 --> 00:32:45,667 Excuse me. How is Tyler? 418 00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:48,001 Is that really important to you? 419 00:32:49,376 --> 00:32:51,459 Let me speak frankly. 420 00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:55,459 If Tyler unfortunately passes away, 421 00:32:55,459 --> 00:32:59,167 that's a great selling point of the film. 422 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:03,501 But we need permission to use his name as the director. 423 00:33:04,042 --> 00:33:06,501 You speak for Mr. Tyler now. 424 00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:10,042 I hope that you will give us that permission. 425 00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:12,126 Tyler doesn't want his name on the film. 426 00:33:12,126 --> 00:33:14,751 That's because he is unable to speak. 427 00:33:14,751 --> 00:33:17,959 Name a price. Name a pretty high price. 428 00:33:17,959 --> 00:33:20,834 It's worth it to us, and I know you need the money. 429 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:24,417 Tyler's going to recover. 430 00:33:24,417 --> 00:33:26,709 I understand your feelings. 431 00:33:27,126 --> 00:33:28,959 The doctors said it's a matter of time. 432 00:33:28,959 --> 00:33:31,167 He's going to die. 433 00:33:31,167 --> 00:33:33,959 That's true of you as well. You'll die. 434 00:33:34,126 --> 00:33:35,459 It's just a matter of time. 435 00:33:35,542 --> 00:33:37,959 I've heard enough from both of you. 436 00:33:38,584 --> 00:33:42,626 Lucy. Lucy, come... Lucy, come back. 437 00:33:42,626 --> 00:33:46,001 What happened? I am very upset! 438 00:33:51,542 --> 00:33:55,251 Cut that light. No backlight. 439 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:58,959 Soon as I roll, start pouring. And make sure it bubbles. 440 00:33:59,209 --> 00:34:02,417 Hi, I'm not in, and I'm not telling where I went. 441 00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:05,001 Leave a message. 442 00:34:05,917 --> 00:34:08,792 Hi, Yo Yo. It's Lucy. 443 00:34:08,792 --> 00:34:15,626 I need to rent a car and find a place to stay. 444 00:34:15,626 --> 00:34:19,542 I had no one else to turn to. 445 00:34:39,542 --> 00:34:43,167 - I'll do it. - Stay in the car! Get back in the car! 446 00:35:08,501 --> 00:35:09,792 Cold? 447 00:35:10,792 --> 00:35:12,292 I've got a three-point plan. 448 00:35:12,334 --> 00:35:14,334 First, dry clothes. 449 00:35:14,459 --> 00:35:16,667 Second, hot soup. 450 00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:18,251 Third... 451 00:35:18,626 --> 00:35:21,292 - What? - I'm working on it. 452 00:35:54,584 --> 00:35:57,751 What's your plan after Tyler dies? 453 00:36:16,501 --> 00:36:18,626 Go ahead and cry. 454 00:36:18,917 --> 00:36:20,751 You've been holding it back too long. 455 00:36:21,001 --> 00:36:21,834 Thanks. 456 00:36:32,251 --> 00:36:34,626 You can sleep with me if you want. 457 00:36:34,626 --> 00:36:35,626 No, that's not what I mean. 458 00:36:35,626 --> 00:36:39,209 I mean, hotels aren't cheap. 459 00:36:42,292 --> 00:36:44,376 Not that you don't have money, because I'm sure you do. 460 00:36:44,792 --> 00:36:48,292 It's not the money, it's just... 461 00:36:48,292 --> 00:36:52,126 So if you don't care about, you know... 462 00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:56,751 If you're not afraid... What the hell am I talking about? 463 00:37:00,501 --> 00:37:02,959 Could you come here and hug me? 464 00:37:21,126 --> 00:37:25,417 Forget it. Forget it. Maybe I should go. 465 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,417 Why go to the hospital now? 466 00:37:36,417 --> 00:37:38,417 He needs me. 467 00:37:57,251 --> 00:37:58,792 I'll show you a hug! 468 00:38:08,751 --> 00:38:11,834 Don't be afraid. It's okay. 469 00:38:22,792 --> 00:38:26,167 Don't cry. I'm here for you. 470 00:38:31,501 --> 00:38:33,667 If anything happened to you, how could I go on? 471 00:38:36,084 --> 00:38:38,584 Stop gazing at me like that. 472 00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:55,584 His office is upstairs. 473 00:38:57,959 --> 00:38:59,084 You play pool? 474 00:38:59,209 --> 00:39:01,626 A little. Tyler loves it. 475 00:39:02,459 --> 00:39:05,876 Snooker's more my style. 476 00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:14,167 Wang, she's here. 477 00:39:14,251 --> 00:39:16,459 What the hell?! 478 00:39:16,459 --> 00:39:18,042 You said 10! 479 00:39:18,042 --> 00:39:19,959 - Well, just meet her. - No, no, no! 480 00:39:19,959 --> 00:39:21,959 I'll introduce you. 481 00:39:21,959 --> 00:39:23,667 No way! 482 00:39:23,667 --> 00:39:26,876 This is an international occasion! This demands formal attire! 483 00:39:26,876 --> 00:39:30,501 Keep her busy. 484 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:32,917 I'll meet you upstairs! 485 00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:39,501 Let's roll. 486 00:39:42,251 --> 00:39:44,459 Allow me to introduce you. 487 00:39:45,084 --> 00:39:47,251 This is... 488 00:39:47,376 --> 00:39:50,417 Is it George or Louis this time? 489 00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:51,376 Louis! 490 00:39:51,376 --> 00:39:53,792 Louis Wang. 491 00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:57,542 GM of 3W-Dot-Com Productions. 492 00:39:57,542 --> 00:39:59,751 This is Tyler's assistant, Lucy. 493 00:39:59,751 --> 00:40:02,751 She'll be supervising the funeral. 494 00:40:03,667 --> 00:40:07,167 On behalf of our comrades at 3W-Dot-Com, 495 00:40:07,417 --> 00:40:12,042 please accept our condolences over Mr. Tyler's tragic death. 496 00:40:13,042 --> 00:40:16,126 Excuse me. Tyler's not dead yet. 497 00:40:16,126 --> 00:40:18,334 But he's real close. 498 00:40:18,334 --> 00:40:20,709 And it doesn't look good. 499 00:40:23,126 --> 00:40:29,876 Well, whatever the outcome, our hearts are heavy with anguish. 500 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:36,251 Go ahead. 501 00:40:41,126 --> 00:40:46,042 It happened so suddenly. We haven't had enough time to discuss it. 502 00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:47,959 There is no comfortable event... 503 00:40:47,959 --> 00:40:54,542 But our company has a credo. 504 00:40:54,542 --> 00:40:59,251 We will fight the tough battle. 505 00:40:59,251 --> 00:41:02,417 We will fight the big battle. 506 00:41:02,667 --> 00:41:07,501 We will win the battle that cannot be won! 507 00:41:07,917 --> 00:41:11,417 Mr. Wang. How can you do that? 508 00:41:11,417 --> 00:41:14,959 He means there's nothing they can't do. 509 00:41:14,959 --> 00:41:18,001 - I understand Chinese. - I'm sorry. 510 00:41:18,001 --> 00:41:23,001 My company has a policy that when meeting with a foreign guest, 511 00:41:23,001 --> 00:41:25,792 each side only speak their native language. 512 00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:28,042 What? Is that necessary? 513 00:41:29,626 --> 00:41:33,001 I would respect your policy... 514 00:41:33,001 --> 00:41:35,834 Cut the crap, all right? 515 00:41:36,792 --> 00:41:38,626 When did you become so pragmatic, 516 00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:40,626 like a goddamn American? 517 00:41:40,626 --> 00:41:42,751 Stick to the point. Get down to business. 518 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,626 Let's get down to business. 519 00:41:45,626 --> 00:41:47,667 First, the location. 520 00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:52,126 Because of the time, this is still just a rough sketch. 521 00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:54,626 But it gives the general idea. 522 00:41:54,626 --> 00:41:56,834 What's with the U.S. flag? 523 00:41:57,417 --> 00:42:00,709 Duh. Tyler's an American. 524 00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:19,334 That's the Temple of the Ancestors. 525 00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:21,542 Tyler filmed there. 526 00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:29,792 Let me explain our reasoning. We eliminated some choices. 527 00:42:29,876 --> 00:42:32,584 A funeral home was out of the question. 528 00:42:32,667 --> 00:42:36,584 Too spooky and didn't follow Tyler's wishes. 529 00:42:36,667 --> 00:42:42,292 We also considered a place familiar and dear to him: 530 00:42:42,751 --> 00:42:44,042 A sound stage. 531 00:42:44,501 --> 00:42:48,584 But that's too small and limiting. 532 00:42:48,584 --> 00:42:50,167 And you can't tell it's China. 533 00:42:51,251 --> 00:42:58,709 So after much deliberation, we chose a venue of immense cultural importance! 534 00:42:58,709 --> 00:43:01,334 - The Forbidden City. - Perfect. 535 00:43:01,334 --> 00:43:03,417 Tyler's an American, 536 00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:08,376 but his laolao, the mother of his mother, was Italian. 537 00:43:08,376 --> 00:43:14,792 So we kick it off with Zhang Yimou directing Turandot. 538 00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:18,876 Turandot? What? The opening's going to take two hours? 539 00:43:18,876 --> 00:43:21,459 We won't do the whole thing. 540 00:43:21,459 --> 00:43:24,667 Just a few arias. 541 00:43:24,751 --> 00:43:28,876 Like "Nessun Dorma". What do you think? 542 00:43:29,501 --> 00:43:32,626 I prefer "What a Beautiful Jasmine." 543 00:43:33,126 --> 00:43:36,917 It's adapted from a Chinese folk song. 544 00:43:37,292 --> 00:43:40,917 So it's Italian, but sounds Chinese. 545 00:43:40,917 --> 00:43:44,709 Like Puccini knew Tyler'd die in China. 546 00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:45,917 It's fate. 547 00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:52,459 Next we'll have a stand-up comedy routine: 548 00:43:52,751 --> 00:43:54,251 "The Joke ls on Tyler." 549 00:43:54,251 --> 00:43:56,751 Like your talk shows, only more depressing. 550 00:43:56,751 --> 00:43:59,126 And then, to get the emotion flowing, 551 00:43:59,126 --> 00:44:06,126 rock star Zang Tianshuo performs his chart-topping anthem. 552 00:44:20,084 --> 00:44:23,542 Friend, oh, my friend 553 00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:27,417 Do you ever think of me? 554 00:44:27,709 --> 00:44:31,459 If you've found happiness 555 00:44:31,459 --> 00:44:34,834 Then let our memories be 556 00:44:35,459 --> 00:44:38,792 Friend, oh, my friend 557 00:44:39,209 --> 00:44:42,751 Do you ever think of me? 558 00:44:43,209 --> 00:44:47,167 If you can't stand it 559 00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:49,751 Please tell me 560 00:44:49,751 --> 00:45:00,584 Next up, director Chen Kaige and Tyler's favorite actress, Gong Li... 561 00:45:00,584 --> 00:45:08,001 ...will award his corpse a Golden Rooster for lifetime achievement. 562 00:45:08,001 --> 00:45:10,792 If Gong Li cancels, we'll get Zhang Ziyi. 563 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,667 He loves her. 564 00:45:12,667 --> 00:45:16,959 The last section is "Tyler's New Life". 565 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:55,042 This kid is Tyler's reincarnation. 566 00:45:56,084 --> 00:46:01,792 But Tyler's white. How'd he become Chinese? 567 00:46:01,792 --> 00:46:07,501 If he dies in China, he should become Chinese. 568 00:46:07,501 --> 00:46:11,501 He should come out the way he went in. 569 00:46:11,501 --> 00:46:15,792 But that doesn't benefit Sino-U.S. friendship, does it? 570 00:46:15,792 --> 00:46:20,209 It could injure the feelings of the Chinese people. 571 00:46:20,209 --> 00:46:21,834 We wouldn't want that. 572 00:46:21,834 --> 00:46:24,959 What about my feelings? 573 00:46:24,959 --> 00:46:26,709 All right, let's not argue about it. 574 00:46:28,709 --> 00:46:35,251 Look, Tyler's memory belongs to the world. 575 00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:38,042 Because he's white now doesn't mean he should stay white. 576 00:46:38,042 --> 00:46:40,542 Let me finish. 577 00:46:40,751 --> 00:46:46,251 So although he dies here, he doesn't have to come back Chinese. 578 00:46:46,917 --> 00:46:47,959 Be cool! 579 00:46:48,584 --> 00:46:53,709 He should return to the people who need him most. 580 00:46:54,751 --> 00:46:58,209 Now since Africa's film industry is still in its start-up phase, 581 00:46:58,584 --> 00:47:01,751 how about an African baby? 582 00:47:01,959 --> 00:47:03,792 - What? - African? 583 00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:07,334 A little black kid shooting across the sky! 584 00:47:07,334 --> 00:47:08,626 The skin is black. 585 00:47:08,626 --> 00:47:12,834 The kid still has Tyler's voice and speaks English, 586 00:47:13,209 --> 00:47:16,542 returning from the dead to tell his fans: 587 00:47:18,459 --> 00:47:20,584 "I love you." 588 00:47:21,334 --> 00:47:23,917 Shit. We have to do it that way. 589 00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,834 Only three colors to choose from, 590 00:47:26,834 --> 00:47:29,417 unless we turn him into a bird or fish. 591 00:47:29,417 --> 00:47:31,251 Then we have more options. 592 00:47:31,251 --> 00:47:34,667 - Dark black or mocha? - True crimson. 593 00:47:37,917 --> 00:47:41,084 Check this out. 594 00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:56,001 Change the color, not the sex! 595 00:47:56,001 --> 00:47:58,626 - They're sick. - It's a virus! 596 00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:00,959 Maybe he'd be happier as a girl. 597 00:48:00,959 --> 00:48:02,001 Shut up! 598 00:48:02,834 --> 00:48:06,959 An Asian footprint isn't enough. We want global coverage! 599 00:48:07,501 --> 00:48:09,834 Do whatever it takes! 600 00:48:09,876 --> 00:48:12,251 We'll rent a Russian satellite. 601 00:48:12,459 --> 00:48:21,001 You tell him, worldwide TV gets broadcast rights, but he pays the satellite fee. 602 00:48:21,001 --> 00:48:26,292 With a global broadcast, we are talking billions of viewers. 603 00:48:26,292 --> 00:48:28,667 Turandot will make money. 604 00:48:29,751 --> 00:48:31,959 This thing's really snowballing. 605 00:48:32,251 --> 00:48:33,584 Makes me nervous. 606 00:48:33,584 --> 00:48:35,626 Don't sweat it, I'm here! 607 00:48:35,626 --> 00:48:38,834 We have to resolve the time zone problem. 608 00:48:38,834 --> 00:48:45,376 For European viewers, early morning would be ideal. 609 00:48:45,376 --> 00:48:48,334 Keep them up all night. 610 00:48:48,334 --> 00:48:51,459 - The Chinese audience comes first. - Good point. 611 00:48:51,459 --> 00:48:54,917 Things are taking shape. Everything's about set. 612 00:48:54,917 --> 00:49:00,001 I hope Tyler holds out a few more days so I can get this stage up. 613 00:49:02,126 --> 00:49:04,876 We're bleeding money like crazy. 614 00:49:05,334 --> 00:49:09,334 I've been so busy, I forgot to ask: 615 00:49:09,334 --> 00:49:11,209 Who's paying for this? 616 00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,459 I'm going to need some cash. 617 00:49:13,459 --> 00:49:17,334 Tyler should pay. You front cash to get it rolling, then... 618 00:49:17,334 --> 00:49:20,084 "Should pay"? He has to pay! 619 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:24,584 Don't worry. I got it covered. 620 00:49:24,584 --> 00:49:28,751 - Make sure of it. - Don't worry about this. 621 00:49:53,251 --> 00:49:55,292 He's sure got some fight in him. 622 00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:57,834 The machines are keeping him alive. 623 00:49:57,834 --> 00:49:59,584 And gives you more time. 624 00:49:59,584 --> 00:50:01,042 How's it going? 625 00:50:01,042 --> 00:50:04,292 It's all set. Come out, we need to talk. 626 00:50:08,167 --> 00:50:10,626 I keep forgetting to ask about the money. 627 00:50:10,626 --> 00:50:12,876 What's your budget? 628 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:15,501 It won't be cheap. 629 00:50:16,209 --> 00:50:19,251 We don't have any money. You'll have to think of something. 630 00:50:22,876 --> 00:50:26,001 What do you mean, I'll have to think of something? 631 00:50:31,334 --> 00:50:34,209 Tyler never mentioned money at all? 632 00:50:34,709 --> 00:50:36,751 He's totally broke. 633 00:50:40,334 --> 00:50:42,292 Then what the hell am I doing? 634 00:50:42,292 --> 00:50:45,876 He's not my father! I'm totally screwed! 635 00:50:46,709 --> 00:50:49,376 No one's forcing you. 636 00:50:58,626 --> 00:51:01,334 Mr. Zhang is exiting the bathroom! 637 00:51:01,334 --> 00:51:03,417 I'll secure the hallway. 638 00:51:09,709 --> 00:51:15,292 Mr. Zhang is the Genghis Khan of Chinese T. 639 00:51:15,876 --> 00:51:19,626 His investments are quite aggressive. 640 00:51:19,626 --> 00:51:21,042 A ferocious appetite! 641 00:51:21,126 --> 00:51:24,626 You produce half of all TV dramas, correct? 642 00:51:24,709 --> 00:51:26,876 I heard all about you! So that's really you? 643 00:51:28,084 --> 00:51:29,876 Sure as hell ain't you. 644 00:51:30,126 --> 00:51:32,917 Sure as hell ain't you. 645 00:51:34,001 --> 00:51:39,126 I heard you're doing online casting for Golden Lotus. Any luck? 646 00:51:39,292 --> 00:51:43,167 I'd go with a character actress. 647 00:51:43,292 --> 00:51:44,626 Yo Yo. 648 00:51:45,792 --> 00:51:49,209 Shut up for a second. Listen to Mr. Zhang's condition for sponsorship. 649 00:51:49,501 --> 00:51:52,542 My terms are simple. 650 00:51:57,542 --> 00:52:01,292 Here's what I want to happen. This mystery woman... 651 00:52:01,626 --> 00:52:08,084 ...will accompany Tyler throughout the funeral. 652 00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:11,126 Who's this? 653 00:52:11,126 --> 00:52:12,792 Tyler's lover! 654 00:52:12,792 --> 00:52:14,376 Impossible! 655 00:52:14,501 --> 00:52:18,292 At his age? Are you kidding? 656 00:52:18,459 --> 00:52:21,292 Maybe for Clinton's funeral. 657 00:52:21,917 --> 00:52:22,834 What? 658 00:52:22,834 --> 00:52:28,209 Of course, it's just an act. She's an actress. 659 00:52:28,334 --> 00:52:32,626 Your Golden Lotus, right? 660 00:52:32,751 --> 00:52:38,209 The funeral will launch her career. 661 00:52:38,459 --> 00:52:40,417 The media loves that shit! 662 00:52:40,417 --> 00:52:42,334 She'll be famous overnight! 663 00:52:42,334 --> 00:52:44,751 Famous before her first role? 664 00:52:44,751 --> 00:52:46,584 Exactly! 665 00:52:46,751 --> 00:52:52,126 If we agree, Mr. Zhang foots the whole bill. 666 00:52:52,334 --> 00:52:53,334 Five million. 667 00:52:53,334 --> 00:52:55,751 You said four! The price went up? 668 00:52:55,751 --> 00:52:56,792 It always does. 669 00:52:56,792 --> 00:53:01,209 At four million, we only see a silhouette. 670 00:53:01,376 --> 00:53:05,626 For five million, the veil comes off, 671 00:53:05,626 --> 00:53:10,251 and during the ceremony she gets three big close-ups. 672 00:53:10,251 --> 00:53:11,667 Not a bad offer. 673 00:53:13,376 --> 00:53:20,251 All right. But only if she cries on him for at least 30 seconds. 674 00:53:20,292 --> 00:53:22,667 She can cry for 10 minutes for all I care. 675 00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:25,959 Sit down for a second. I'll even throw in a bonus. 676 00:53:26,876 --> 00:53:31,459 Remember how Tyler reincarnates as a baby? 677 00:53:31,709 --> 00:53:34,501 The part about his New Life? 678 00:53:34,792 --> 00:53:40,959 For another 500,000, I guarantee the baby recognizes only her! 679 00:53:40,959 --> 00:53:43,042 The first word it says will be her name! 680 00:53:43,042 --> 00:53:44,209 Your name? 681 00:53:44,209 --> 00:53:46,959 Nina. 682 00:53:46,959 --> 00:53:50,667 Nina's better off as Mr. Zhang's midnight snack. 683 00:53:52,792 --> 00:53:56,084 If he's spending money, we should make him famous. 684 00:53:56,251 --> 00:53:59,084 Some plastic surgery, dye your hair blond, 685 00:53:59,209 --> 00:54:02,167 you can come as Tyler's bastard son. 686 00:54:02,917 --> 00:54:07,626 Mr. Zhang! You don't like that idea? We can discuss it. 687 00:54:07,626 --> 00:54:09,959 But the concept does have its merits... 688 00:54:11,251 --> 00:54:13,001 Why'd you do that? 689 00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:17,126 I find an investor and you pull a stunt like that? 690 00:54:17,126 --> 00:54:20,001 His conditions were outrageous. 691 00:54:20,001 --> 00:54:21,542 It would ruin Tyler's reputation. 692 00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,251 So what? 693 00:54:23,251 --> 00:54:25,584 You know what filmmakers are like! 694 00:54:25,584 --> 00:54:30,042 They'll sleep with anybody! Everyone knows that. 695 00:54:30,042 --> 00:54:32,667 If that's too much, then what isn't? 696 00:54:32,667 --> 00:54:35,167 Why throw money away at your funeral? 697 00:54:35,167 --> 00:54:36,751 They expect a return! 698 00:54:36,751 --> 00:54:38,751 No one's losing money. 699 00:54:38,751 --> 00:54:42,417 It's like the Olympics: a brand-building opportunity! 700 00:54:42,417 --> 00:54:43,709 Who wouldn't love to say, 701 00:54:43,709 --> 00:54:45,792 "Our company sponsored Tyler's funeral"? 702 00:54:45,792 --> 00:54:48,126 It's a kind of intangible assets. 703 00:54:48,126 --> 00:54:50,501 How will you do that? 704 00:54:50,501 --> 00:54:53,084 Hang banners at the funeral? 705 00:54:53,084 --> 00:54:55,667 Print logos on the invitation? 706 00:54:55,667 --> 00:54:58,667 Sell airtime? That's your idea? 707 00:54:58,667 --> 00:55:00,209 - You wanna do that? - Yes. 708 00:55:01,209 --> 00:55:04,584 If the sponsor's brand is worthy of Tyler's reputation! 709 00:55:04,584 --> 00:55:11,626 If Kodak and Microsoft give us money, big money, they can wallpaper the place! 710 00:55:12,001 --> 00:55:17,834 Something like: "Tyler's friends bring you..." 711 00:55:17,834 --> 00:55:22,126 Not "Sponsored by, " but "Lovingly dedicated." 712 00:55:22,959 --> 00:55:25,042 "Dedicated" isn't right. 713 00:55:25,042 --> 00:55:26,709 "Lovingly brought." "Lovingly sent." 714 00:55:26,709 --> 00:55:29,459 - "Lovingly brought." - "Lovingly brought." 715 00:55:29,584 --> 00:55:32,209 "Lovingly sent." 716 00:55:32,209 --> 00:55:35,334 And I'm not interested in small fish. 717 00:55:35,334 --> 00:55:38,876 Fortune 500 only. 718 00:55:41,876 --> 00:55:44,709 - You can't park here. - I'm leaving. 719 00:55:45,542 --> 00:55:48,876 Isn't this disrespectful of Tyler? 720 00:55:50,126 --> 00:55:52,209 No, it's good business. 721 00:55:59,626 --> 00:56:00,792 Let me introduce you. 722 00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:02,792 This is the president of Sogou network, 723 00:56:02,917 --> 00:56:04,376 Hello, this is my business card. 724 00:56:04,376 --> 00:56:05,917 This is Lucy. 725 00:56:05,917 --> 00:56:07,292 - This is Yo Yo. - I don't have a business card. 726 00:56:07,292 --> 00:56:09,209 You have Tyler, you don't need a business card. 727 00:56:09,209 --> 00:56:10,167 Have a seat. 728 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:12,167 - Sougou Network? - Yep. 729 00:56:12,376 --> 00:56:13,834 Is Sogou and Sohu the same company? 730 00:56:13,834 --> 00:56:15,167 They're "sohu" and we're "sogou". 731 00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:17,001 We "So" different things. 732 00:56:17,001 --> 00:56:19,667 Sogou plans to go public in the US recently, 733 00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:22,167 their advertisements are everywhere. 734 00:56:22,167 --> 00:56:23,459 Have you seen it? 735 00:56:23,501 --> 00:56:25,209 That's the sign. Oh, not that one. 736 00:56:25,751 --> 00:56:27,292 This one. 737 00:56:28,126 --> 00:56:31,876 It's look familiar, I thought it was the dog rope company. 738 00:56:31,876 --> 00:56:34,334 They plan to cooperate with us. 739 00:56:34,334 --> 00:56:36,292 To reform the funeral, 740 00:56:36,292 --> 00:56:37,917 break with traditional ideas, 741 00:56:37,917 --> 00:56:39,792 break the old funeral form, 742 00:56:39,792 --> 00:56:46,751 make it more suitable for the strategy of economic development in the 21st century. 743 00:56:46,751 --> 00:56:48,209 Not... not strategy, 744 00:56:48,542 --> 00:56:49,626 What's the word for that? 745 00:56:49,626 --> 00:56:51,459 In fact, this is a new economic model, 746 00:56:51,459 --> 00:56:54,126 We call this new economic model as: 747 00:56:54,126 --> 00:56:56,834 "As an outstanding personality, death is also a male ghost." 748 00:56:56,834 --> 00:56:58,876 I don't understand. 749 00:56:58,876 --> 00:57:01,251 This model was from your mouth. 750 00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:03,959 Fully excavate the economic potential of funeral, 751 00:57:03,959 --> 00:57:05,834 - and pursue the benefit. - That's right. 752 00:57:05,834 --> 00:57:08,042 How much would you bid to purchase our authorization? 753 00:57:08,417 --> 00:57:11,001 Many people are concerning this stuff. 754 00:57:11,001 --> 00:57:12,626 A lot of websites are contacting us. 755 00:57:12,626 --> 00:57:15,917 Exactly. I can't even turn on my phone. 756 00:57:16,126 --> 00:57:19,167 If you agree, we will provide a free advertising business... 757 00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:22,459 ...for Tyler's funeral in Sogou business website. 758 00:57:22,501 --> 00:57:24,917 Makes the funeral of celebrities become a new window 759 00:57:24,917 --> 00:57:27,417 and platform for releasing famous and excellent new products, 760 00:57:27,584 --> 00:57:29,917 in turn for our authorization. 761 00:57:30,209 --> 00:57:33,709 If we agree, we can also put funeral public on the market, 762 00:57:33,709 --> 00:57:35,584 use the shareholders' money for the funeral, 763 00:57:35,584 --> 00:57:38,417 use the income of funeral advertising, in turn, makes the stock appreciate. 764 00:57:38,417 --> 00:57:40,667 By the way, figure out how much money you two can make. 765 00:57:40,667 --> 00:57:43,501 Not just you two, plus me. 766 00:57:43,501 --> 00:57:44,917 It should be "you three". 767 00:57:44,917 --> 00:57:46,209 What do you think? 768 00:57:54,126 --> 00:57:56,501 She must think I'm a mercenary. 769 00:57:57,334 --> 00:57:58,876 You are not? 770 00:57:59,542 --> 00:58:01,834 So who are you? Sage? 771 00:58:01,834 --> 00:58:03,959 I'm the legal person of the funeral. 772 00:58:03,959 --> 00:58:05,376 Do you know what is legal person? 773 00:58:05,376 --> 00:58:07,751 The person who is brought to justice. 774 00:58:08,001 --> 00:58:09,751 Wait, for goodness' sake, you should make it. 775 00:58:10,209 --> 00:58:12,292 This is our rare chance of lifetime. 776 00:58:12,667 --> 00:58:15,709 Besides, this is fundamentally Tyler's personality. 777 00:58:15,709 --> 00:58:19,376 If we want to do, then do the great things. 778 00:58:19,376 --> 00:58:21,376 That's what makes him different from us. 779 00:58:22,334 --> 00:58:24,834 And you should read this, 780 00:58:24,834 --> 00:58:26,376 learn from his ideas, 781 00:58:26,459 --> 00:58:29,209 Really learn his spiritual essence. 782 00:58:29,209 --> 00:58:31,126 The reason he can be the movie master, 783 00:58:31,126 --> 00:58:32,792 just two words: 784 00:58:32,792 --> 00:58:35,334 Eccentric, grandstanding. 785 00:58:43,209 --> 00:58:45,001 Thanks. 786 00:59:04,417 --> 00:59:06,001 Thank you, Father. 787 00:59:30,626 --> 00:59:35,459 All right, all right. All right, sweetheart. Okay. 788 00:59:35,542 --> 00:59:37,042 You all right? 789 00:59:37,709 --> 00:59:42,042 Well, thank God we got the old devil back. 790 00:59:42,126 --> 00:59:45,376 Yeah, but he won't let me tell Yo Yo he's recovered. 791 00:59:45,667 --> 00:59:49,209 Did you know they're using his funeral to sell advertising? 792 00:59:50,959 --> 00:59:53,001 He doesn't want to stop them. 793 00:59:53,001 --> 00:59:55,084 He likes the whole thing. 794 00:59:55,084 --> 00:59:58,376 He said it wasn't what he expected, but even better. 795 00:59:58,376 --> 01:00:01,834 By the sound of it, it sounds interesting. 796 01:00:01,834 --> 01:00:04,292 Almost like a French farce. 797 01:00:04,292 --> 01:00:06,751 Yo Yo and Tyler are both scoundrels. 798 01:00:06,751 --> 01:00:11,167 And scoundrels, you never know which card they're going to play. 799 01:00:11,251 --> 01:00:14,376 I have no idea how this crazy mess will end up. 800 01:00:14,376 --> 01:00:16,751 Only God and Hitchcock know that. 801 01:00:16,751 --> 01:00:21,792 We may see two possibilities, but never the third. That's suspense. 802 01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:23,334 Start from the angel. 803 01:00:23,334 --> 01:00:28,126 Five, four, three, two, one. And you're on. 804 01:00:28,126 --> 01:00:34,376 This is Victor Lee reporting live from downtown Beijing with an amazing exclusive. 805 01:00:34,417 --> 01:00:36,501 It's 9 a.m. local time, 806 01:00:36,501 --> 01:00:40,876 you must stop what you're doing to watch the latest development... 807 01:00:40,876 --> 01:00:44,584 ...of the incredible story of Don Tyler's funeral. 808 01:00:56,751 --> 01:01:01,751 Ladies and gentleman. We have just entered a new century... 809 01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:06,209 ...and Hollywood's most colorful director, Don Tyler... 810 01:01:06,209 --> 01:01:13,459 ...has given his Chinese friend the right to organize in China a most remarkable funeral. 811 01:01:13,459 --> 01:01:19,001 At the funeral, advertisers will be allowed to make product placements. 812 01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:23,876 Today, the world's largest advertisers are here 813 01:01:23,876 --> 01:01:27,917 to participate in an auction of those ad spots. 814 01:01:28,251 --> 01:01:34,126 Not surprisingly, the competition will be ferocious... 815 01:01:34,584 --> 01:01:38,209 ...with prices expected to go sky-high. 816 01:01:38,209 --> 01:01:40,042 Yes, sir! 817 01:01:40,042 --> 01:01:41,709 No! Hey, hey, hey. 818 01:01:42,542 --> 01:01:45,251 They really are selling you. Aren't you angry? 819 01:01:45,417 --> 01:01:47,792 Tony. Do you think he should be watching this? 820 01:01:48,376 --> 01:01:50,167 We should end this. 821 01:01:50,167 --> 01:01:54,334 This is my medicine. This is the best show I've seen on TV. 822 01:01:54,334 --> 01:01:57,001 This is absurd. This is really crazy. 823 01:01:57,001 --> 01:02:00,501 This is the theater of the absurd. 824 01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:04,751 This kid's wonderful. I knew it then, but he's brilliant, Yo Yo. 825 01:02:04,751 --> 01:02:08,292 Call the network. We should get paid for this. 826 01:02:08,292 --> 01:02:11,917 It's much better than that Survivor crap at home. 827 01:02:11,917 --> 01:02:13,709 ...prices high! 828 01:02:16,209 --> 01:02:17,667 What'd you just say? 829 01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:21,209 I have no idea. You're up. 830 01:02:22,501 --> 01:02:27,876 Now I would like to invite the organizer of Tyler's funeral... 831 01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:32,459 ...Mr. Yo Yo, to explain the rules of the auction. 832 01:02:39,251 --> 01:02:42,376 In accordance with Tyler's last wishes... 833 01:02:42,376 --> 01:02:46,834 ...the advertising space will be divided into three areas: 834 01:02:46,834 --> 01:02:55,209 On-site signage, funeral platform placements and rotating billboards. 835 01:02:55,209 --> 01:03:02,667 We'll start by auctioning the billboards. 836 01:03:07,709 --> 01:03:10,459 I hereby declare the proceedings open! 837 01:03:10,542 --> 01:03:18,042 For rotating billboard number one, we'll begin at $100,000! 838 01:03:18,417 --> 01:03:21,042 I have a bidder! $100,000. $200,000. $300,000. 839 01:03:21,042 --> 01:03:22,459 $400,000. $500,000. $600,000. 840 01:03:22,459 --> 01:03:24,334 $700,000. $800,000. $900,000. 841 01:03:24,334 --> 01:03:27,501 One million! One million, going once! 842 01:03:27,501 --> 01:03:29,834 One million, twice! 843 01:03:29,834 --> 01:03:32,584 One million, three times! 844 01:03:34,251 --> 01:03:35,334 Sold! 845 01:03:50,542 --> 01:03:53,167 Oh, what shit! 846 01:03:57,751 --> 01:04:00,251 This is a beautiful image. 847 01:04:00,251 --> 01:04:02,792 It's like I can smell it. 848 01:04:03,167 --> 01:04:06,167 I'd love to get my teeth into one of those. 849 01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:07,959 Sold! 850 01:04:18,001 --> 01:04:22,042 At the organizer's request, Love Island DVD's bid is disqualified. 851 01:04:22,042 --> 01:04:24,001 - Be cool! - What's going on? 852 01:04:24,042 --> 01:04:25,959 The last bid is voided. 853 01:04:25,959 --> 01:04:30,542 Wait! Why? I demand an explanation! 854 01:04:32,042 --> 01:04:36,667 Your player reads low-quality DVDs, right? 855 01:04:36,667 --> 01:04:40,126 Our Super Error Correction made us the market leader! 856 01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:42,126 Love Island reads DVDs of any quality! 857 01:04:42,126 --> 01:04:46,834 I'm sorry. We can't accept your money. 858 01:04:46,834 --> 01:04:48,542 Why not? 859 01:04:48,542 --> 01:04:49,876 He's kidding! 860 01:04:49,876 --> 01:04:52,042 Super Error Correction is piracy! 861 01:04:52,042 --> 01:04:53,667 Legal DVDs don't have errors! 862 01:04:53,667 --> 01:04:58,042 TV networks run our ads. Why not you? 863 01:04:58,042 --> 01:05:00,126 That's unfair competition! 864 01:05:00,126 --> 01:05:02,667 Tell it to the TV stations! 865 01:05:02,667 --> 01:05:05,459 Personally, I hope you go bankrupt! 866 01:05:05,959 --> 01:05:15,042 I hereby declare that billboard three is reserved for a public service message! 867 01:05:18,167 --> 01:05:22,084 FIGHT VIDEO PIRACY 868 01:05:35,751 --> 01:05:38,792 Who gave you the right to do that? 869 01:05:38,792 --> 01:05:43,501 This happens again, I'll rip your damn head off! 870 01:05:43,501 --> 01:05:45,209 Hear me? 871 01:05:46,834 --> 01:05:52,542 Who do you think you're talking to? 872 01:05:52,542 --> 01:05:55,751 Listen up! I am in charge here, not you! 873 01:05:55,751 --> 01:05:58,209 You'll get your money! 874 01:05:58,251 --> 01:06:02,376 But shoot your mouth off again, it'll be your funeral! 875 01:06:03,959 --> 01:06:06,001 Money-grubbing weasel! 876 01:06:17,417 --> 01:06:21,542 Is video piracy more unethical than advertising at funerals? 877 01:06:21,542 --> 01:06:25,251 Funeral advertising is profiting by stealing from oneself. 878 01:06:25,251 --> 01:06:28,584 Video pirates profit by stealing from others. 879 01:06:28,751 --> 01:06:32,876 I never expected a burn like him to know about protecting intellectual property. 880 01:06:32,876 --> 01:06:35,876 You can bet he's got a lot of surprises. 881 01:06:35,876 --> 01:06:37,876 I told you he's a genius. 882 01:06:38,042 --> 01:06:42,751 His imagination is boundless and he has the principles to contain it. 883 01:06:42,751 --> 01:06:46,251 That bastard just cost us a stack of money. 884 01:06:46,251 --> 01:06:48,834 Does that monster think he's an angel? 885 01:06:48,834 --> 01:06:51,459 He booked a one-way ticket to hell. 886 01:06:51,459 --> 01:06:52,792 But that's how he is. 887 01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:54,834 Mostly, he seems like a devil, 888 01:06:54,834 --> 01:06:56,876 but sometimes he's an angel. 889 01:06:57,667 --> 01:06:59,751 Oh, sweetie, you're in love with him. 890 01:07:00,709 --> 01:07:03,209 In your dreams. I'd rather go to hell. 891 01:07:03,209 --> 01:07:05,417 Good move, we'll all be there. 892 01:07:05,459 --> 01:07:09,084 Yo Yo for sure. Tony, wouldn't be caught dead anywhere else. 893 01:07:09,084 --> 01:07:12,376 Of course. I don't know anybody in heaven. 894 01:07:12,376 --> 01:07:14,376 All my friends are in hell. 895 01:07:14,459 --> 01:07:17,001 And now poor Lucy will be there too. 896 01:07:17,126 --> 01:07:19,751 Go see your sweetheart. 897 01:07:19,751 --> 01:07:22,334 Give him Tyler's bank account information. 898 01:07:22,376 --> 01:07:26,709 I don't want to see that money disappear into the wrong account. 899 01:07:26,709 --> 01:07:29,751 What I want to know is what you intend to do. 900 01:07:29,751 --> 01:07:31,292 It's still too soon. 901 01:07:31,667 --> 01:07:34,042 When it's settled, I'll let you in on it. 902 01:07:34,042 --> 01:07:37,417 But I'm not leaving the kid out to dry. That I assure you. 903 01:07:38,001 --> 01:07:40,501 This is NB with a special report. 904 01:07:40,501 --> 01:07:44,209 Next up, live interviews on the Tyler funeral. 905 01:07:44,209 --> 01:07:47,834 What's your opinion about selling ads at funerals? 906 01:07:48,126 --> 01:07:49,876 Who cares? It's his business. 907 01:07:49,876 --> 01:07:53,334 Is it disrespectful of the dead? 908 01:07:53,334 --> 01:07:58,667 Giving a person what he asks for is the highest form of respect. 909 01:07:58,667 --> 01:08:00,959 Now you're talking! 910 01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:03,126 What? 911 01:08:03,126 --> 01:08:05,376 Do you support this concept? 912 01:08:05,376 --> 01:08:08,334 I've got three words: "One man's glory, another man's shame." 913 01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:09,792 Do you know who Tyler is? 914 01:08:09,792 --> 01:08:12,042 "One man's glory, another man's shame." 915 01:08:12,042 --> 01:08:15,292 Three words, my ass! That's six! 916 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:17,834 What do you think about a comedy funeral? 917 01:08:18,292 --> 01:08:20,376 A what? 918 01:08:20,501 --> 01:08:21,667 Shee-sahng. 919 01:08:23,709 --> 01:08:25,209 A sauna? 920 01:08:26,667 --> 01:08:29,876 Bet he's never even seen a sauna! 921 01:08:32,334 --> 01:08:35,876 Congratulations. You're a big celebrity now. 922 01:08:37,042 --> 01:08:38,917 Is Tyler...? 923 01:08:39,209 --> 01:08:43,501 The doctor says we can pull the plug anytime. 924 01:08:43,501 --> 01:08:45,334 But I can't do it. 925 01:08:45,751 --> 01:08:48,626 He's still alive. Disappointed? 926 01:08:48,626 --> 01:08:52,626 With all the ads I sold, are you disappointed? 927 01:09:00,542 --> 01:09:04,376 - He's back again. - I thought he just left. 928 01:09:10,084 --> 01:09:13,126 It's not a bust to be a woman. 929 01:09:14,459 --> 01:09:15,834 What does that mean? 930 01:09:22,042 --> 01:09:27,001 How many times have I told you? 931 01:09:27,792 --> 01:09:29,417 Is it really that hard? 932 01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:35,834 First, "Please restrain your grief". Then the product slogan. 933 01:09:37,126 --> 01:09:40,292 One more time. One, two, three. 934 01:09:40,459 --> 01:09:44,001 Please restrain your grief. It's not a bust to be a woman. 935 01:09:44,126 --> 01:09:46,001 It's a breast cream ad. 936 01:09:49,917 --> 01:09:53,084 The guests enter under the balloons. 937 01:09:53,084 --> 01:09:55,542 Each balloon is sponsored. 938 01:09:55,542 --> 01:09:57,292 Hey, where are my ads? 939 01:09:57,292 --> 01:09:59,417 We're working on it. 940 01:09:59,584 --> 01:10:04,834 A Korean cosmetics company snatched up the balloon ads. 941 01:10:06,959 --> 01:10:09,917 Up! Okay, good! 942 01:10:09,917 --> 01:10:12,167 All the liquor companies wanted in. 943 01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:14,751 Bad News Beer finally won the bid. 944 01:10:14,834 --> 01:10:18,042 "The Official Drink of Tyler's Funeral." 945 01:10:18,042 --> 01:10:20,292 Watch their sales skyrocket! 946 01:10:20,834 --> 01:10:22,751 Insane! 947 01:10:25,126 --> 01:10:29,376 - This is the funeral platform. - What's with the furniture? 948 01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:34,209 - Louis! - Corning. 949 01:10:35,334 --> 01:10:37,459 Good thing you're here. 950 01:10:37,626 --> 01:10:42,501 Our clients requested a few changes on the platform. 951 01:10:43,542 --> 01:10:46,459 This junk is all famous-brand Italian furniture. 952 01:10:46,459 --> 01:10:52,417 They wanted Tyler resting peacefully on this lovely bed. 953 01:10:52,417 --> 01:10:56,626 Like he's taking a long nap, not dead. 954 01:10:57,126 --> 01:11:00,376 That's a big placement. Did they pay? 955 01:11:00,376 --> 01:11:04,417 I was waiting for your approval. 956 01:11:04,417 --> 01:11:05,834 It's a nice chunk of change. 957 01:11:05,834 --> 01:11:07,209 Close the deal. 958 01:11:07,251 --> 01:11:12,334 Later, we can hawk it at Sotheby's as a "Tyler antique". 959 01:11:12,709 --> 01:11:15,167 What's the news from the drill team? 960 01:11:16,209 --> 01:11:19,584 Just called. Awaiting our inspection. 961 01:11:20,001 --> 01:11:22,376 How much time does Mr. Tyler have left? 962 01:11:22,417 --> 01:11:25,084 The machines are keeping him alive, He may die any time. 963 01:11:25,084 --> 01:11:27,459 - It's right, Lucy? - What do you mean "Yanqi"? 964 01:11:27,917 --> 01:11:31,042 Stop breathing, in your words, "over". 965 01:11:31,042 --> 01:11:34,001 You guys want him dead fast. 966 01:11:34,001 --> 01:11:36,459 I hope Tyler holds out one more week... 967 01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:38,251 Please don't die until I finished the work 968 01:11:38,251 --> 01:11:40,042 After that, anytime is okay. 969 01:11:40,042 --> 01:11:42,667 Let's get Dongzhi to sponsor the freezer. 970 01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:44,167 Ask them to give us the latest one. 971 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:45,917 It's not just about freshness, also defrosts. 972 01:11:45,917 --> 01:11:48,209 How else am I going to get them in. 973 01:11:51,834 --> 01:11:57,292 A huge blimp will be flying overhead filming this part. 974 01:11:58,209 --> 01:12:02,542 We sold the space to a French airline. 975 01:12:02,542 --> 01:12:07,292 And they paid through the croissant for it. 976 01:12:07,292 --> 01:12:10,667 We were pretty rushed. It's still a little rough. 977 01:12:10,667 --> 01:12:13,584 Attention, everyone! 978 01:12:14,167 --> 01:12:15,667 Positions! 979 01:12:16,209 --> 01:12:18,584 First formation! 980 01:12:19,709 --> 01:12:21,542 Add the "TV"! 981 01:12:22,626 --> 01:12:25,709 Why do you keep adding more crap? 982 01:12:26,084 --> 01:12:27,626 Stand by! 983 01:12:30,417 --> 01:12:33,667 I forgot to tell you. I had a great idea. 984 01:12:33,667 --> 01:12:36,167 You know that VJ, David Wu? 985 01:12:36,167 --> 01:12:39,251 He's got a great style. 986 01:12:39,251 --> 01:12:41,917 A VJ would really spice things up. 987 01:12:41,917 --> 01:12:45,376 David Wu is fine, but just hire him! 988 01:12:45,376 --> 01:12:47,501 Quit trying to turn everything into a scheme. 989 01:12:48,209 --> 01:12:49,584 Continue! 990 01:12:49,584 --> 01:12:51,209 Since we have the idea, 991 01:12:51,209 --> 01:12:53,542 let's just make him an offer. 992 01:12:53,542 --> 01:12:55,251 Maybe he'll agree. 993 01:12:55,251 --> 01:12:57,042 What's the next formation? 994 01:12:57,042 --> 01:12:59,209 Who's in charge here? 995 01:12:59,626 --> 01:13:02,292 From now on, we both are. 996 01:13:03,001 --> 01:13:05,126 This one's a cigarette ad. 997 01:13:05,334 --> 01:13:07,376 Listen up! 998 01:13:07,376 --> 01:13:09,001 Ready! 999 01:13:09,209 --> 01:13:11,209 Second formation! 1000 01:13:13,334 --> 01:13:15,042 You're wasting time with cigarettes. 1001 01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:18,626 If you get fined, don't blame me. 1002 01:13:18,626 --> 01:13:20,834 We only mention the logo. 1003 01:13:20,834 --> 01:13:23,001 They may think it's a slot machine ad. 1004 01:13:23,001 --> 01:13:24,959 You think they're stupid? 1005 01:13:24,959 --> 01:13:27,167 They'll just pull the whole lot. 1006 01:13:27,167 --> 01:13:28,792 Stand by! 1007 01:13:31,376 --> 01:13:33,209 We can add a banner: 1008 01:13:34,084 --> 01:13:37,751 "No Smoking At The Funeral. And That Includes 666!" 1009 01:13:38,001 --> 01:13:40,126 You're really wasting your talent here. 1010 01:13:40,126 --> 01:13:42,417 You should running the Olympics. 1011 01:13:42,417 --> 01:13:43,376 What did she say? 1012 01:13:43,376 --> 01:13:48,084 We're wasting our talent and should run the Olympics. 1013 01:13:48,084 --> 01:13:50,126 Is that an insult? 1014 01:13:50,126 --> 01:13:52,167 That's a compliment, right? 1015 01:13:53,667 --> 01:13:56,834 You've worked hard to make a profit. 1016 01:13:56,834 --> 01:13:58,876 How will you spend the money? 1017 01:13:58,876 --> 01:14:03,292 Originally, I just wanted to cover the costs. 1018 01:14:03,292 --> 01:14:06,834 If there was anything leftover, I'd pay off Tyler's debts. 1019 01:14:06,834 --> 01:14:09,876 But the money kept piling up. 1020 01:14:09,876 --> 01:14:12,584 Of course, I'll take care of Louis. 1021 01:14:12,584 --> 01:14:15,042 And you, for your devotion to Tyler. 1022 01:14:15,042 --> 01:14:19,376 You weren't going to take some for yourself? 1023 01:14:19,376 --> 01:14:25,584 First, I'll pay off the funeral and donate the rest to charity. 1024 01:14:25,584 --> 01:14:27,542 You always said I just wanted money. 1025 01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:30,876 I'm giving it away. How about that? 1026 01:14:30,876 --> 01:14:33,376 - To who? - That's my problem. 1027 01:14:33,376 --> 01:14:37,584 Perhaps Ethiopian disaster victims, or the pandas. 1028 01:14:37,584 --> 01:14:40,542 Would Tyler give it to people or animals? 1029 01:14:40,584 --> 01:14:43,501 - People. - Yeah, that's what I thought. 1030 01:14:54,751 --> 01:14:59,042 This is absolutely brilliant. The kid's feeling pure terror. 1031 01:14:59,042 --> 01:15:03,376 He's up in the air with no visible means of support. 1032 01:15:03,376 --> 01:15:05,959 To save himself, he has to fly. 1033 01:15:05,959 --> 01:15:08,834 But he has self-doubt and is unsure if he can. 1034 01:15:08,834 --> 01:15:13,501 But he will. He must stop thinking about it or he'll crash. 1035 01:15:13,501 --> 01:15:16,834 He'll fly, do loop-the-loops. It's sensational. 1036 01:15:17,167 --> 01:15:20,334 I don't like him being toyed with. 1037 01:15:20,334 --> 01:15:22,042 I think it's time we told him the truth. 1038 01:15:22,042 --> 01:15:25,459 You're wrong. I'm not toying with him. 1039 01:15:25,459 --> 01:15:28,251 But there's an idea here. A great idea for me. 1040 01:15:28,251 --> 01:15:31,209 You can't tell him. Promise me you won't. 1041 01:15:32,126 --> 01:15:35,501 He could come to the hospital at any time and bust us. 1042 01:15:36,001 --> 01:15:39,376 Yeah, you're right. I should be moved somewhere else. 1043 01:15:50,209 --> 01:15:51,501 Yo Yo. 1044 01:15:52,251 --> 01:15:56,334 You got room for one more ad? 1045 01:15:56,334 --> 01:15:59,084 This hearse was a great idea. 1046 01:15:59,167 --> 01:16:01,876 Everyone wants a piece. 1047 01:16:02,834 --> 01:16:07,126 No can do. A watch company took the tailgate. 1048 01:16:07,126 --> 01:16:09,501 It's full up. Only thing left is the hood. 1049 01:16:10,917 --> 01:16:15,001 - Sold out in one afternoon. - Stick it here. 1050 01:16:15,001 --> 01:16:17,292 The hood! I want it. 1051 01:16:17,292 --> 01:16:18,751 For who? 1052 01:16:18,751 --> 01:16:22,584 Starmaker Music. 1053 01:16:22,584 --> 01:16:24,751 The boss is an old buddy. 1054 01:16:24,876 --> 01:16:28,126 We'll get his top singers for free. 1055 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,334 They're all huge stars. 1056 01:16:30,459 --> 01:16:31,501 Know that TV theme song... 1057 01:16:33,751 --> 01:16:36,001 ..."Don't Come Back!"? 1058 01:16:36,001 --> 01:16:38,084 The one where he sobs? 1059 01:16:38,084 --> 01:16:40,917 It's perfect for us. 1060 01:16:40,917 --> 01:16:43,834 Li Nan can sing from the roof of the truck. 1061 01:16:43,834 --> 01:16:46,167 Always working an angle. 1062 01:16:46,167 --> 01:16:49,917 You're using the funeral to kiss friends' asses. 1063 01:16:49,917 --> 01:16:52,334 Even though I already paid for those singers. 1064 01:16:52,334 --> 01:16:53,417 And another thing: 1065 01:16:54,126 --> 01:16:57,834 This hearse isn't going straight to the venue. 1066 01:16:57,834 --> 01:17:00,667 Where's it going? The car wash? 1067 01:17:00,667 --> 01:17:06,417 Advertisers want it to circle the city a few times first. 1068 01:17:06,417 --> 01:17:08,667 Give them more exposure. 1069 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:11,792 So Li Nan can't bitch about too much sun. 1070 01:17:11,792 --> 01:17:13,542 Okay, Scrooge. 1071 01:17:13,542 --> 01:17:16,167 I'll buy him a big sombrero. 1072 01:17:16,167 --> 01:17:17,959 If all you care about is money, 1073 01:17:17,959 --> 01:17:19,876 get him a brand-name suit. 1074 01:17:19,876 --> 01:17:23,959 He looks disgraceful in shorts and a tank top. 1075 01:17:23,959 --> 01:17:27,417 I beg to differ. He looks like an athlete. 1076 01:17:27,417 --> 01:17:32,126 A sports lover. A picture of health! 1077 01:17:32,876 --> 01:17:34,376 Yeah, healthy for a dead person. 1078 01:17:34,376 --> 01:17:37,751 Looks like he's taking a power nap. 1079 01:17:37,751 --> 01:17:41,917 The sportswear sold for twice as much as the suits. 1080 01:17:42,042 --> 01:17:43,917 We've come this far. 1081 01:17:44,001 --> 01:17:47,917 Might as well squeeze every drop. 1082 01:17:47,917 --> 01:17:51,376 We're done with Game Reaper sportswear. What's next? 1083 01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:54,251 One Time Thief watch. 1084 01:17:54,417 --> 01:17:57,542 One Epiphany and Sons gold necklace. 1085 01:17:57,542 --> 01:17:59,542 One PaceMaker running shoe. 1086 01:17:59,542 --> 01:18:02,334 - Left or right foot? - Left. 1087 01:18:02,334 --> 01:18:06,126 On the right, one Flying Sole leather dress shoe. 1088 01:18:07,084 --> 01:18:10,001 One pair of Traitor sunglasses. 1089 01:18:12,084 --> 01:18:13,834 Why are you taking the lens out? 1090 01:18:13,834 --> 01:18:17,126 This one belongs to a contact lens company. 1091 01:18:17,126 --> 01:18:19,417 Traditionally, the eyes are closed. 1092 01:18:19,417 --> 01:18:21,834 Contractually, this one stays open. 1093 01:18:23,126 --> 01:18:28,376 When he passed on, Tyler still had much to accomplish. 1094 01:18:28,376 --> 01:18:31,709 One eye holding out until the end is symbolic. 1095 01:18:31,751 --> 01:18:35,376 One bag of Magic Wake tea. Where does that go? 1096 01:18:45,917 --> 01:18:49,584 Such an important spot. We should up the fee 50%. 1097 01:18:49,584 --> 01:18:53,001 Remember to have the TV guys do close-ups... 1098 01:18:53,001 --> 01:18:56,626 ...on the tea bag and contact lens. 1099 01:18:56,626 --> 01:19:00,376 - Five seconds each. - Okay. 1100 01:19:00,376 --> 01:19:03,501 - What's next? - Feisi shampoo. 1101 01:19:07,167 --> 01:19:09,959 Isn't this overkill? 1102 01:19:11,001 --> 01:19:14,376 Let's hear the ad copy. 1103 01:19:18,501 --> 01:19:20,876 "One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1104 01:19:20,876 --> 01:19:24,001 The other side didn't. See the difference!" 1105 01:19:24,126 --> 01:19:26,584 "One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1106 01:19:26,584 --> 01:19:30,376 The other side didn't. See the difference!" 1107 01:19:33,084 --> 01:19:34,209 We can handle that. 1108 01:19:50,251 --> 01:19:51,959 One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1109 01:19:52,251 --> 01:19:56,667 The other side didn't. See the difference! 1110 01:19:59,001 --> 01:20:00,501 I can't see the difference. 1111 01:20:05,751 --> 01:20:08,584 - See it now? - Oh, come on! 1112 01:20:08,584 --> 01:20:10,626 You're totally hopeless. 1113 01:20:13,501 --> 01:20:14,917 I got Mr. Biao for you! 1114 01:20:16,376 --> 01:20:18,126 I just love your movies! 1115 01:20:18,126 --> 01:20:19,876 Doing another big holiday picture? 1116 01:20:19,876 --> 01:20:21,834 Let's not waste Mr. Biao's time. 1117 01:20:21,834 --> 01:20:25,542 He's got a TV show later. 1118 01:20:25,542 --> 01:20:27,501 Right. Louis probably explained this. 1119 01:20:27,501 --> 01:20:30,584 We need you to say one line. 1120 01:20:30,584 --> 01:20:33,376 Since you're busy, we'll just walk through it. 1121 01:20:33,417 --> 01:20:37,501 If it's just a rehearsal, I don't actually need to cry. 1122 01:20:37,792 --> 01:20:40,084 - Of course not. - Have him cry. 1123 01:20:40,084 --> 01:20:42,959 - I'm Biao, Beijing Film Studio. - I'm Lucy. 1124 01:20:42,959 --> 01:20:44,417 We need you to cry. 1125 01:20:45,209 --> 01:20:51,292 If you do it in character, we'll know what to expect. 1126 01:20:51,292 --> 01:20:54,584 At the real funeral, you can really let her rip. 1127 01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:57,501 I'm at the final send-off, right? 1128 01:20:57,501 --> 01:20:59,959 You'll walk up with me. 1129 01:20:59,959 --> 01:21:01,876 We'll be surrounded by big stars. 1130 01:21:01,876 --> 01:21:03,792 You come just after Stallone. 1131 01:21:03,792 --> 01:21:06,626 - Shall we start? - A moment, please. 1132 01:22:08,626 --> 01:22:09,917 Tyler. 1133 01:22:11,834 --> 01:22:12,626 Tyler. 1134 01:22:18,251 --> 01:22:22,501 We Chinese actors began taking calcium supplements long ago. 1135 01:22:23,709 --> 01:22:27,709 But it was too late for you! 1136 01:22:29,292 --> 01:22:34,751 There wasn't time to share with our fellow artists in America! 1137 01:22:35,542 --> 01:22:41,876 But we were close! 1138 01:22:42,959 --> 01:22:44,667 So damn close! 1139 01:22:44,667 --> 01:22:48,917 It's the lack of calcium that killed you! 1140 01:22:51,334 --> 01:22:55,376 Truly a great actor. Cries on command. 1141 01:22:57,042 --> 01:22:58,376 Did that work for you? 1142 01:22:58,376 --> 01:23:01,167 Wouldn't cry that much if my dad died. 1143 01:23:02,292 --> 01:23:04,792 Wow, he felt more for Tyler than I did. 1144 01:23:04,834 --> 01:23:06,459 Bullshit. I paid him. 1145 01:23:14,709 --> 01:23:16,876 I can't wait any longer. 1146 01:23:16,876 --> 01:23:20,917 What am I going to do? 1147 01:23:21,751 --> 01:23:23,876 - Which one's Yo Yo? - What for? 1148 01:23:23,876 --> 01:23:27,167 Shut your goddamn trap! I asked for Yo Yo! 1149 01:23:27,167 --> 01:23:29,542 - What do you want? - Are you Lucy? 1150 01:23:29,542 --> 01:23:31,917 I'm Yo Yo. It's nothing to do with her. 1151 01:23:31,917 --> 01:23:34,959 Hell, yes, it does! 1152 01:23:34,959 --> 01:23:37,084 Our boss wants to talk to her. 1153 01:23:37,126 --> 01:23:39,709 Cut the mafia act. China doesn't have one! 1154 01:23:39,709 --> 01:23:41,751 If you have business, speak up. 1155 01:23:41,751 --> 01:23:45,209 That's enough. Let's discuss this like gentlemen. 1156 01:23:45,626 --> 01:23:48,626 Show him. 1157 01:23:51,376 --> 01:23:53,709 Have you tried this mineral water? 1158 01:23:53,709 --> 01:23:55,792 Le Ha-Ha? Never heard of it. 1159 01:23:55,792 --> 01:23:57,001 I only know Wah Ha-Ha. 1160 01:23:57,001 --> 01:23:58,792 That's why I'm here. 1161 01:23:58,792 --> 01:24:03,251 I want mineral water drinkers everywhere to know Le Ha-Ha. 1162 01:24:03,251 --> 01:24:06,959 I heard this funeral is packed with big sponsors. 1163 01:24:06,959 --> 01:24:08,917 I want a spot for Le Ha-Ha. 1164 01:24:08,917 --> 01:24:10,417 I'll pay you well for it. 1165 01:24:12,376 --> 01:24:13,751 Come here. 1166 01:24:15,334 --> 01:24:16,251 See for yourself. 1167 01:24:16,792 --> 01:24:20,959 He's already fully sponsored. There's no space. 1168 01:24:21,084 --> 01:24:25,001 We had space on the hearse, but now everything's taken. 1169 01:24:25,001 --> 01:24:26,501 Not my problem. 1170 01:24:27,001 --> 01:24:29,376 Besides, I don't want to be mixed up with other ads. 1171 01:24:29,584 --> 01:24:32,709 You create an idea to set Le Ha-Ha apart. 1172 01:24:32,709 --> 01:24:36,251 Something innovative. 1173 01:24:36,334 --> 01:24:39,584 Give me a good concept. You can name your price. 1174 01:24:39,792 --> 01:24:42,376 If not, you can cancel the funeral. 1175 01:24:42,376 --> 01:24:44,126 Thank you very much! 1176 01:24:44,126 --> 01:24:46,751 Truth is, I hope it does get called off. 1177 01:24:46,751 --> 01:24:50,792 If you're serious, go ahead and tear whole place down! 1178 01:24:50,792 --> 01:24:53,334 A smart-ass, eh? Tear it down! 1179 01:24:53,709 --> 01:24:55,167 Be cool! 1180 01:25:19,584 --> 01:25:22,626 Why's this music so gloomy? 1181 01:25:22,667 --> 01:25:26,417 It's a funeral dirge. Gotta be gloomy to make people cry. 1182 01:25:26,417 --> 01:25:30,417 I don't like it. 1183 01:25:30,417 --> 01:25:33,626 Save it for Lucy's funeral. 1184 01:25:34,626 --> 01:25:36,667 Lucy's a nice girl. 1185 01:25:36,667 --> 01:25:39,126 For her sake, come up with something else. 1186 01:26:00,209 --> 01:26:02,167 Attention, everyone! 1187 01:26:02,167 --> 01:26:06,459 Let's try the same dirge, only with a happier feel. 1188 01:26:08,876 --> 01:26:12,667 At double the tempo! 1189 01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:16,459 One, two, three, four. 1190 01:26:56,292 --> 01:26:58,042 I don't get it. 1191 01:26:58,209 --> 01:27:02,626 If you're copying another product why spend so much on ads? 1192 01:27:02,626 --> 01:27:05,751 You don't understand capitalism. With enough advertising, 1193 01:27:05,751 --> 01:27:08,167 the fake becomes the real. 1194 01:27:12,876 --> 01:27:14,876 - Pay them. - Lucy, wait a sec! 1195 01:27:14,876 --> 01:27:16,501 Let's hear it again. 1196 01:27:16,501 --> 01:27:17,959 Everything's taken care of. 1197 01:27:17,959 --> 01:27:20,834 I don't wanna hear it anymore! I can't take it anymore! 1198 01:27:20,834 --> 01:27:23,626 Take your stupid funeral and go to hell! 1199 01:27:23,626 --> 01:27:26,042 Talk to Tyler. He woke up a while ago. 1200 01:27:26,042 --> 01:27:29,042 He and Tony wouldn't let me tell you. 1201 01:27:29,042 --> 01:27:32,209 But I can't keep up the act. They're playing with you. 1202 01:27:55,042 --> 01:27:59,334 Why, Tyler? Why did you put him in charge of your funeral? 1203 01:27:59,334 --> 01:28:04,084 Hey, one of first things that Confucius said was: 1204 01:28:04,084 --> 01:28:08,209 "Aren't friends from far away a joyful thing?" 1205 01:28:08,209 --> 01:28:10,542 For me, I think what he meant was: 1206 01:28:10,542 --> 01:28:14,542 "No, not necessarily. Not if you are truly lonely." 1207 01:28:14,542 --> 01:28:18,084 - Thanks a lot. - This isn't about you and Tony. 1208 01:28:18,542 --> 01:28:19,959 This is about me. 1209 01:28:20,334 --> 01:28:23,667 Right, but look at where it's got you. 1210 01:28:23,667 --> 01:28:25,126 This is wonderful. 1211 01:28:25,417 --> 01:28:28,459 All the emperors had their funerals here. 1212 01:28:28,501 --> 01:28:32,667 Yo Yo was just trying to move me from mortal to immortal. 1213 01:28:32,667 --> 01:28:36,542 You don't think my soul would be good in a little baby girl? 1214 01:28:37,042 --> 01:28:40,792 It's not a joke, Tyler, it's embarrassing. 1215 01:28:40,792 --> 01:28:45,459 Yeah, well, I guess if I had actually died... 1216 01:28:45,459 --> 01:28:48,959 ...you guys wouldn't be happy with this, would you? 1217 01:28:48,959 --> 01:28:53,876 But you would have been remembered by all this... Damn it, Tyler! 1218 01:28:53,876 --> 01:28:58,417 After all you've done, your great work, to have this be your memorial? 1219 01:28:58,417 --> 01:29:02,751 But I'm still alive, sweetie. So in the grand scheme of things... 1220 01:29:02,751 --> 01:29:07,417 ...the Almighty was using Yo Yo and his brilliant creation... 1221 01:29:07,417 --> 01:29:09,417 ...for a totally different reason. 1222 01:29:09,417 --> 01:29:12,917 - Tyler, you used him. - I don't think so. 1223 01:29:12,917 --> 01:29:17,126 When you think about it, I wanted to stop directing. Why? 1224 01:29:17,126 --> 01:29:20,709 I thought everything I'd ever done was unworthy. 1225 01:29:20,709 --> 01:29:23,084 I just wanted to up and die. 1226 01:29:24,542 --> 01:29:26,459 I'd lost all faith in myself. 1227 01:29:26,459 --> 01:29:30,959 And that morning when I was making that film with Yo Yo. 1228 01:29:31,126 --> 01:29:35,751 All of a sudden everything turned blue. 1229 01:29:35,751 --> 01:29:40,251 I was in this pearl-blue tunnel, sweetie. 1230 01:29:40,251 --> 01:29:43,251 And way at the bottom of it, there was... 1231 01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:48,501 ...this white light beckoning to me and I was floating towards it. 1232 01:29:48,501 --> 01:29:53,084 But I could hear this voice up above me, calling. 1233 01:29:53,501 --> 01:29:55,126 Yelling at me: 1234 01:29:55,792 --> 01:29:57,792 "Hey, old man. 1235 01:29:58,001 --> 01:30:01,334 Don't go there. Come back. 1236 01:30:02,584 --> 01:30:04,917 You still have work to do." 1237 01:30:05,917 --> 01:30:09,292 And I forced myself out of that coma. 1238 01:30:10,626 --> 01:30:12,876 And when I opened my eyes... 1239 01:30:13,667 --> 01:30:16,542 ...there, sitting in front of me, was... 1240 01:30:17,126 --> 01:30:21,167 ...this magical screenplay and the name of its author. 1241 01:30:21,876 --> 01:30:25,251 - Yo Yo? - Yo Yo, my man. 1242 01:30:25,542 --> 01:30:27,209 Messenger from heaven. 1243 01:30:27,292 --> 01:30:31,376 That's the real reason I asked him to arrange my funeral. 1244 01:30:31,376 --> 01:30:33,251 To save my life. 1245 01:30:33,251 --> 01:30:37,459 To give me this perfect movie to make. 1246 01:30:38,167 --> 01:30:39,667 He's my angel. 1247 01:30:41,542 --> 01:30:44,251 Your angel's going straight to hell... 1248 01:30:44,251 --> 01:30:47,751 ...if you don't do something to get him out of this mess. 1249 01:30:52,084 --> 01:30:54,667 When will the lousy old fart die? 1250 01:30:54,667 --> 01:30:56,834 Will he live until the next century? 1251 01:30:57,167 --> 01:30:58,751 If Tyler recovered, 1252 01:30:58,751 --> 01:31:02,251 have you considered what we would do? 1253 01:31:02,251 --> 01:31:05,042 That's impossible! He has to die! 1254 01:31:05,042 --> 01:31:07,001 And if he doesn't, he better fake it! 1255 01:31:07,001 --> 01:31:10,501 Our clients don't care if the corpse is dead or alive. 1256 01:31:10,501 --> 01:31:13,626 They're only concerned about our advertising power! 1257 01:31:13,626 --> 01:31:17,042 Yo Yo, I hope you're joking. 1258 01:31:17,251 --> 01:31:20,417 What if I'm not? 1259 01:31:20,417 --> 01:31:21,167 Then... 1260 01:31:22,959 --> 01:31:25,251 ...I'll kill the goddamn bastard! 1261 01:31:34,292 --> 01:31:35,709 He recovered. 1262 01:31:51,042 --> 01:31:53,292 Are you comfortable here? 1263 01:31:53,417 --> 01:31:56,209 Can't afford to worry about comfort now. 1264 01:31:56,584 --> 01:31:58,667 Not enough time. 1265 01:31:58,667 --> 01:32:01,251 Just wish there were 48 hours in a day. 1266 01:32:02,501 --> 01:32:04,459 Where'd you disappear to? 1267 01:32:04,459 --> 01:32:08,459 Tried calling you everywhere. Many big decisions waiting on you. 1268 01:32:08,834 --> 01:32:11,126 I'm so busy with the new film, 1269 01:32:11,126 --> 01:32:13,042 I had no time to visit. 1270 01:32:13,292 --> 01:32:15,126 Are you angry? 1271 01:32:16,084 --> 01:32:20,167 Don't worry. We wouldn't abandon you here. 1272 01:32:20,584 --> 01:32:22,709 I'm not sick. Just tired. 1273 01:32:23,251 --> 01:32:26,792 I'll need a long vacation after the funeral's over. 1274 01:32:27,126 --> 01:32:30,459 Right now my mind is full of advertisements. 1275 01:32:30,792 --> 01:32:38,459 Since we IPO'd our every move directly affects the NASDAQ. 1276 01:32:39,126 --> 01:32:42,042 Yo Yo. Tyler is fine. 1277 01:32:42,209 --> 01:32:44,917 There's no funeral. It's all over. 1278 01:32:47,751 --> 01:32:50,292 Why won't you believe me? 1279 01:32:50,292 --> 01:32:53,251 You don't have to worry about the advertisers. 1280 01:32:53,251 --> 01:32:56,126 Tyler pre-sold his funeral rights. 1281 01:32:56,126 --> 01:32:58,667 He loved your concept so much. 1282 01:32:58,667 --> 01:33:01,667 He's making it into a movie. 1283 01:33:01,876 --> 01:33:06,042 Really. Everything's settled. You've got to believe me. 1284 01:33:10,751 --> 01:33:14,792 Tyler's death was hard on you. 1285 01:33:15,001 --> 01:33:16,876 Must be hard to accept. 1286 01:33:16,876 --> 01:33:19,792 I feel the same way. 1287 01:33:20,209 --> 01:33:25,376 Which is why we have to give him a really successful funeral. 1288 01:33:25,834 --> 01:33:29,209 We can't dishonor his faith in us! Nor his trust. 1289 01:33:30,834 --> 01:33:33,417 I designed a sample invitation. 1290 01:33:33,667 --> 01:33:38,501 Internet CEOs and a real estate mogul are staying in this hotel... 1291 01:33:38,792 --> 01:33:40,959 ...all dying to advertise with us. 1292 01:33:41,251 --> 01:33:43,167 But there wasn't any space left. 1293 01:33:43,459 --> 01:33:48,251 So I got inspired and added an insert. 1294 01:33:48,959 --> 01:33:51,876 Have a look. If it works, we should print it right away. 1295 01:33:53,501 --> 01:33:55,542 Not much time left. 1296 01:33:56,334 --> 01:33:57,959 You like it? 1297 01:34:00,584 --> 01:34:04,251 The reason I came here was to check on your condition. 1298 01:34:05,042 --> 01:34:08,167 If you were better, I could take you home with me. 1299 01:34:09,292 --> 01:34:13,917 But the doctor says the treatment has been very conservative. 1300 01:34:14,042 --> 01:34:17,209 Pills, mostly. With no sign of progress. 1301 01:34:17,459 --> 01:34:23,251 So he recommended we try electroshock therapy. 1302 01:34:23,584 --> 01:34:27,792 Apparently, it's quite painful. 1303 01:34:28,751 --> 01:34:34,542 Afterwards, you'll pass out and go into spasms. 1304 01:34:35,667 --> 01:34:40,834 Treatment would be once a day for about 15 days. 1305 01:34:41,501 --> 01:34:44,792 If the results aren't promising, they'll try another round. 1306 01:34:45,959 --> 01:34:50,584 So the bastards finally got their dirty hands on me. 1307 01:35:04,334 --> 01:35:05,834 I must call Tyler! 1308 01:35:05,834 --> 01:35:07,417 He's taking me to America! 1309 01:35:07,501 --> 01:35:10,209 - I want him to take me now! - Thank God! 1310 01:35:10,792 --> 01:35:13,001 You believe he's still alive? 1311 01:35:16,417 --> 01:35:17,876 I was faking. 1312 01:35:18,042 --> 01:35:19,042 What?! 1313 01:35:19,917 --> 01:35:22,459 I feared the advertisers coming after me. 1314 01:35:25,042 --> 01:35:27,792 But Louis isn't faking. 1315 01:35:37,959 --> 01:35:40,001 It feels good! 1316 01:35:44,209 --> 01:35:47,584 The business of Chinese DVD industry has a great market. 1317 01:35:47,584 --> 01:35:52,001 I tell you, now China has 27 million DVD players, 1318 01:35:52,001 --> 01:35:56,126 each player will consume 10 DVD discs each year, 1319 01:35:56,126 --> 01:35:59,251 for each DVD we collect 1 Yuan tax, 1320 01:35:59,251 --> 01:36:01,376 1 times 10 is 10 Yuan, 1321 01:36:01,376 --> 01:36:03,959 10 times 27 million, 1322 01:36:03,959 --> 01:36:07,417 that's 270 million business! 270 million business, 1323 01:36:11,334 --> 01:36:14,459 you wanna do e-business? 1324 01:36:14,459 --> 01:36:15,834 You have to burn money for the website. 1325 01:36:15,834 --> 01:36:17,751 It is said: if you cannot give away your son, you cannot catch the wolf. 1326 01:36:17,751 --> 01:36:19,542 Hire some website writer and pay them well, 1327 01:36:19,542 --> 01:36:21,626 and find some famous people to aim at, 1328 01:36:21,626 --> 01:36:23,126 see who is hot, we shoot him, 1329 01:36:23,126 --> 01:36:25,167 what does website rely on? Hitting rate! 1330 01:36:25,167 --> 01:36:27,376 When the hitting rate is increased, the follower will come immediately, 1331 01:36:27,376 --> 01:36:29,209 no matter how much you spent on buying it, 1332 01:36:29,209 --> 01:36:31,417 add a zero behind and sell to the follower directly. 1333 01:36:31,417 --> 01:36:33,751 If someone wants to buy your web, ask for cash. 1334 01:36:33,751 --> 01:36:35,459 They wanna give you stock shares? No way! 1335 01:36:35,459 --> 01:36:38,042 If you are interested, invest 8 to 10 million. 1336 01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,959 I can guarantee you, that your income will be greater than 100 million. 1337 01:36:41,001 --> 01:36:43,001 You have to pick the best gold spot, 1338 01:36:43,001 --> 01:36:44,376 I am talking US dollars! 1339 01:36:44,376 --> 01:36:46,084 Hire a french designer, 1340 01:36:46,084 --> 01:36:48,709 build the highest class apartment. 1341 01:36:48,751 --> 01:36:50,209 Each apartment has their own elevator, 1342 01:36:50,209 --> 01:36:52,251 the smallest apartment model is 400 square meters. 1343 01:36:52,251 --> 01:36:54,959 Things like high-speed internet, fiber cable, satellite, 1344 01:36:54,959 --> 01:36:56,542 whatever can be connected just connect it. 1345 01:36:56,542 --> 01:36:59,084 On top of the building there is a garden, and inside there is swimming pool. 1346 01:36:59,084 --> 01:37:00,876 A manager from England is always standing in the lobby, 1347 01:37:00,876 --> 01:37:03,792 wearing a wig, very gentleman, 1348 01:37:03,792 --> 01:37:06,001 when the housemaster comes in, no matter what, 1349 01:37:06,001 --> 01:37:07,792 he first asks "May I help you, sir?" 1350 01:37:07,792 --> 01:37:09,709 with a pure London dialect. 1351 01:37:09,709 --> 01:37:11,251 You feel so proud! 1352 01:37:11,251 --> 01:37:14,126 Inside the community a private school will be built, 1353 01:37:14,126 --> 01:37:15,751 use Harvard's textbook, 1354 01:37:15,751 --> 01:37:18,042 each year the tuition fee only will be tens of thousands of US dollars. 1355 01:37:18,042 --> 01:37:20,792 And build a US style clinic, open 24 hours. 1356 01:37:20,792 --> 01:37:22,709 Only one word: Expensive! 1357 01:37:22,709 --> 01:37:25,417 A normal cold will cost you several thousand Yuan here. 1358 01:37:25,417 --> 01:37:27,792 The neighbours drives either BMW or Benz, 1359 01:37:27,792 --> 01:37:31,001 if you drive a Japanese car, you feel embarrassed to say hello with them. 1360 01:37:31,001 --> 01:37:34,667 Guess, for such an apartment, how much it would be each square meter? 1361 01:37:35,084 --> 01:37:37,042 I think anyway it should be 2,000 US$ or above. 1362 01:37:37,042 --> 01:37:39,751 2,000? That is the cost! 1363 01:37:39,751 --> 01:37:41,501 Starting from 4,000. 1364 01:37:41,501 --> 01:37:43,501 Don't feel expensive, there is no discount. 1365 01:37:43,501 --> 01:37:46,417 You have to study the psychology of the buyer. 1366 01:37:46,417 --> 01:37:50,792 Those who wish to pay $2,000 don't care to spend $2,000 more! 1367 01:37:50,792 --> 01:37:52,542 What is a successful man? 1368 01:37:52,542 --> 01:37:54,917 Successful man buys whatever is most expensive, 1369 01:37:54,917 --> 01:37:57,459 and not buy the best! 1370 01:37:57,459 --> 01:38:00,376 So our propaganda for real estate is: 1371 01:38:00,376 --> 01:38:02,126 Not necessarily the best, but definitely the most expensive! 1372 01:38:02,334 --> 01:38:04,209 Attention, please. 1373 01:38:04,584 --> 01:38:08,042 Ladies and gentlemen, 1374 01:38:08,042 --> 01:38:13,126 now I declare, the signing ceremony officially begins. 1375 01:38:13,459 --> 01:38:15,584 I would like to invite Mr. Louis Wang from the Chinese side 1376 01:38:15,626 --> 01:38:19,626 and Mr. Volcker from the American side to the table. 1377 01:38:51,667 --> 01:38:53,959 Give them the medicine throughout this opportunity, 1378 01:38:54,001 --> 01:38:55,667 Let them think it's champagne. Hurry up. 1379 01:38:55,667 --> 01:38:56,834 Champagne is coming! 1380 01:38:56,834 --> 01:38:58,459 Come on, let's get some champagne. 1381 01:38:58,459 --> 01:39:00,584 Find your own name and don't take wrongly. 1382 01:39:00,584 --> 01:39:02,584 Now, one by one. 1383 01:39:03,334 --> 01:39:06,751 Tyler's funeral finally appears on the market of NASDAQ. 1384 01:39:06,876 --> 01:39:10,167 We're going to spend American citizens' money from now on. 1385 01:39:10,167 --> 01:39:12,001 It's signality. Thanks to you. 1386 01:39:12,001 --> 01:39:14,584 Cheers, to our funeral. 1387 01:39:14,959 --> 01:39:18,876 Not our funerals, it's Tyler's. 1388 01:39:18,876 --> 01:39:20,042 Yep, it's Tyler's. 1389 01:39:20,042 --> 01:39:21,042 Cheers. 1390 01:39:23,917 --> 01:39:26,334 So there's this mental hospital... 1391 01:39:26,542 --> 01:39:31,126 ...overcrowded with patients, all mentally retarded... 1392 01:39:31,376 --> 01:39:34,334 ...and not enough nurses or doctors or staff. 1393 01:39:34,626 --> 01:39:39,042 The chief physician gets an idea: Patients will supervise themselves. 1394 01:39:39,251 --> 01:39:41,959 Each floor will have a patient monitor. 1395 01:39:42,376 --> 01:39:45,417 But the floor monitor has to be minimally intelligent. 1396 01:39:46,334 --> 01:39:49,334 So the doctor goes to the first floor, 1397 01:39:49,584 --> 01:39:54,334 holds up an apple and asks: "What's this?" 1398 01:39:54,542 --> 01:39:57,334 The patients all shake their heads. 1399 01:39:58,042 --> 01:40:02,126 Suddenly, one patient raises his hand. "I know!" 1400 01:40:02,126 --> 01:40:04,709 The doctor says, "Tell us!" "An apple!" 1401 01:40:04,709 --> 01:40:07,792 "What's it for?" asks the doctor. "Eating!" 1402 01:40:07,792 --> 01:40:11,084 The doctor says, "You're the first floor monitor." 1403 01:40:11,084 --> 01:40:13,709 They're testing you. Don't screw up. 1404 01:40:13,709 --> 01:40:16,459 The doctor goes to the second floor. 1405 01:40:16,459 --> 01:40:19,251 He holds up a banana and asks: 1406 01:40:19,459 --> 01:40:21,626 "Who can tell me what this is?" 1407 01:40:21,626 --> 01:40:23,751 The patients all shake their heads. 1408 01:40:24,292 --> 01:40:28,209 But one patient raises his hand. "A banana." 1409 01:40:28,251 --> 01:40:31,334 "And what's it for?" "Eating." 1410 01:40:31,334 --> 01:40:34,084 "And how do you eat it?" "Peel it!" 1411 01:40:34,084 --> 01:40:37,542 "Good! You're the second floor monitor." 1412 01:40:39,917 --> 01:40:43,209 So the doctor goes to the third floor. 1413 01:40:43,417 --> 01:40:48,167 He takes out a... The thing with a horn-shaped speaker... 1414 01:40:48,167 --> 01:40:50,917 ...and a handle you crank. What it's called? 1415 01:40:50,917 --> 01:40:52,542 A gramophone! 1416 01:40:53,209 --> 01:40:54,626 You're the third floor monitor! 1417 01:40:57,084 --> 01:40:58,292 Cut! 1418 01:40:58,292 --> 01:41:02,626 This is perfect. The angel gets the last laugh. The movie ends here. 1419 01:41:02,626 --> 01:41:05,126 That's a very bad idea. 1420 01:41:05,126 --> 01:41:08,709 Movies should have romantic, sweet, lyrical endings. 1421 01:41:08,751 --> 01:41:10,501 Lucy's in love with Yo Yo. 1422 01:41:10,501 --> 01:41:12,292 We should see them in bed. 1423 01:41:12,292 --> 01:41:15,001 The scene starts with a kiss. 1424 01:41:15,001 --> 01:41:16,751 Then they take off each other clothes. 1425 01:41:16,751 --> 01:41:20,834 - They embrace passionately. - In slow motion. 1426 01:41:20,834 --> 01:41:22,917 This is your movie, your story, 1427 01:41:22,917 --> 01:41:25,292 your joke, the end. Okay? 1428 01:41:25,334 --> 01:41:27,917 - He said... - I know. 1429 01:41:29,209 --> 01:41:32,751 Now. Stop. No good. 1430 01:41:33,751 --> 01:41:36,459 I. Lucy. Together. 1431 01:41:36,584 --> 01:41:38,084 Go to bed. 1432 01:41:39,209 --> 01:41:41,001 Long time kiss. 1433 01:41:41,292 --> 01:41:42,792 Music. 1434 01:41:43,084 --> 01:41:44,251 Stop. 1435 01:41:44,626 --> 01:41:46,959 - Very good. - Very good! 1436 01:41:46,959 --> 01:41:49,834 Lucy, come here. Sit down. 1437 01:41:50,334 --> 01:41:53,376 How many times have you promised me 1438 01:41:53,376 --> 01:41:55,584 you wouldn't argue with Uncle Tony? 1439 01:41:56,876 --> 01:42:01,042 Hey, do you like Yo Yo's ending? 1440 01:42:01,042 --> 01:42:03,459 Whatever I support, 1441 01:42:03,459 --> 01:42:06,126 It has nothing to do with real life. 1442 01:42:06,667 --> 01:42:09,667 Do you love him? Tell me the truth. 1443 01:42:12,251 --> 01:42:15,459 God. Tony was right. 1444 01:42:15,709 --> 01:42:18,167 This is the truth of the movie. 1445 01:42:18,709 --> 01:42:22,334 Hey, I'll do it Yo Yo's way. 1446 01:42:22,334 --> 01:42:25,792 It's just a movie. It's all I got to give you. 1447 01:42:25,792 --> 01:42:27,459 I love him too. 1448 01:42:49,126 --> 01:42:51,084 What are you thinking? 1449 01:42:51,667 --> 01:42:55,084 Do I have to reveal all my secrets? 1450 01:42:55,251 --> 01:42:57,251 Fine, don't tell me. 1451 01:42:57,667 --> 01:42:59,209 I'd better tell you. 1452 01:43:00,751 --> 01:43:02,167 I was thinking: 1453 01:43:02,667 --> 01:43:06,084 Should I help with the necklace first... 1454 01:43:06,667 --> 01:43:11,209 ...or touch your shoulders, to test your response? 1455 01:43:12,334 --> 01:43:14,501 Or, maybe just lift your face, 1456 01:43:14,501 --> 01:43:19,209 gaze deeply into your eyes and attack you like a wild animal? 1457 01:43:20,376 --> 01:43:25,626 Or, if everything has gone smoothly up to now... 1458 01:43:25,792 --> 01:43:29,876 ...strike while the iron is hot, and do something I'll regret later? 1459 01:43:30,459 --> 01:43:34,834 Or, just take my time and wait for a better harvest? 1460 01:43:35,667 --> 01:43:38,126 - Then I thought... - What if I refuse? 1461 01:43:38,126 --> 01:43:41,792 - You'd do that? - Don't know. Try your luck. 1462 01:43:41,792 --> 01:43:43,292 Then wish me luck! 1463 01:43:57,084 --> 01:43:59,417 Better do it from the front. 1464 01:44:03,459 --> 01:44:05,792 What are you doing? 1465 01:44:07,626 --> 01:44:08,834 Come on, guys. 1466 01:44:09,876 --> 01:44:12,376 I'm not gonna say cut until you kiss. 1467 01:44:17,084 --> 01:44:17,876 Cut. 1468 01:44:20,292 --> 01:44:21,167 Cut. 1469 01:44:23,084 --> 01:44:24,042 Cut! 1470 01:44:28,334 --> 01:44:29,417 Be cool!